So my brain decided to word-vomit this out at 4:30 AM -- it's horribly rough and I didn't have a very good grasp on the characters and location when I started it, but not only is it something, but I thought ya'll might be interested in what's probably one of the most important points in Myrsilkain history, even if only two living beings remember it. I've mentioned both of them here before, one in an RP with Ixris that's here on this board, and the other is... well *grins* Why don't ya'll take a stab at who's who.
He wondered, as he approached Meirfina's lair, exactly what was causing him to feel so ill at ease.
He paused, stretching and swiveling his wings to settle into a steady hover as he swept his gaze across the land. Meirfina's chosen lair was a glorious thing to behold even in the half-light of dawn, an entire mountain-side transformed into the twisting whorls and spirals of her vision, granite magically smoothed and cut to shimmer in the light. It was her vision, her crowning achievement, proof to the stodgy elders of their Clan that minor skill did not have to mean minor achievements.
She was so proud of her work, endlessly shaping and reshaping the mountainside until it was just right, a labour of love that took her two decades to complete. No other Myrsilk of their Clan could boast of such an achievement, and it had attracted the attention of quite a number of suitors, no few from outside the Clan.
But still... something was... wrong. He breathed deep, scenting the air, and even broke from his hover in order to wend a twisting path in the sky, trying to find the source of the dis-ease that ran down his spine and sent his instincts into overdrive. Surely, if Meirfina was in his place, she could have narrowed the source down in a wingbeat -- There, she would say, flicking her tail at a retreating shadow, One of the egg-stealers of this world, come to sniff about. Or perhaps A simple matter; there was a battle downwind a time ago, and your subconscious is picking up the trace of blood and death.
But he wasn't Meirfina, with her brilliant mind and drive to achieve. All he knew was that something was off.
With a huff, he descended to the walkway and landed with a careless flick of his wings, sending swirls of mist curling about his body even as he began the trek into the depths of the lair. It was eerily silent, the clicking of his claws on the stone echoing about like chime of bells. Again he paused, letting the silence descend once more.
This was wrong. Where were the hatchlings? Most beings viewed the dawn as the start of a new day, but Meirfina was a Shadow Myrsilkain, her power strongest at night, her eyes hurt by the bright rays of the sun; dawn was the middle of her day, a concession she made to her human bondmate and her chosen mate, Nonyir, a Wilder who had fallen head-over-tail for the graceful Myrsilkain lady. Their first clutch had only hatched a few months ago, and the hatchlings were beginning to become rambunctious, constantly scampering about the lair with no regard to schedules or sanity. That they had not already swarmed him sent a chill down his spine.
But, no. They were probably just asleep, tired from a bout of adventure and causing Meirfina's black hide to turn silver with stress.
"Meirfina?" He called, as he moved deeper into the lair, poking his head into a few open doorways absently. "Meirfina, you wanted to see me?"
With a frown, he advanced deeper in the lair, away from the public area and into her private rooms. A glance into the library revealed little; she was not sitting in the open space in the center, surrounded by scrolls and history tapestries like normal, but scrolls and tapestries were scattered about, as if she had been there then abruptly left. It was unusual to see the room in such a state of disarray - Meirfina was as much a perfectionist as anything else, and would always put her precious library away as soon as she was finished for the day. So this... this mess, this scattered collection of her most favored possessions, was disconcerting.
Now worried, he hurried on, deeper into the private section. "Meirfina! Meirfina, where are you?!" He cried out, pace growing ever more frantic as he checked room after room and continued to come up empty-pawed. Dread growing, he abandoned dignity and broke into a bounding run, wings held tight to his body in order to avoid clipping against wall or ceiling in his haste.
He could smell it now, taste it on his tongue, and his stomach roiled at the meaning. Blood. Blood on the air, heavy and final and almost sickening in its intensity. He was a predator - his entire race was - but this... this was Myrsilkain blood, tinged with the sharp tang of magic and power. Whatever had happened here, it terrified him to his core.
The heavy stone door to Meirfina's private room was ajar and gave no resistance as he shouldered through and looked upon the scene that would haunt him for the rest of his days.
Humans lay scattered about the room like ragdolls, clutching weapons and clothed in torn armour. The back corner was taken up by Nonyir's bulk, his deep violet hide liberally splashed in bright red blood, a lance through one eye and his neck sliced vertically from chin to chest, the bright white of bone visible in a few places. Sprawled across his tail as if trying to bar the way further into the corner was the body of the largest hatchling, a bright blue Sun who he remembered as being the nosiest hatchling of the lot. The Sun's head was severed from his neck, and lay several feet away, eyes wide and unseeing. He couldn't see further into the corner, but he doubted the survival of any of the other hatchlings.
What truly frightened him, though, was Meirfina. She stood in the center of the room, staring sightlessly down at the human she held pinned beneath one massive paw. A human, he saw, that was still moving.
Before he could say anything, she move her paw and struck, head darting down and teeth piercing the human's torso. The human gave one high, shrill scream before going limp.
"M-Meirfina?" He asked, warily approaching her. She had always been so fascinated by the little two-feet that lived on this world and called themselves human, even going to the extent to bond herself to one that had stumbled upon her hatching. A human, he realized with sickening dread, that looked similar to the one currently hanging limp in her jaws, his blood running in bright rivulets down her chin.
Her attention snapped to him, and for a moment she gazed at him as if he was a stranger, before her silver eyes cleared. But, to his horror, she didn't drop the human's body upon recognizing him, but instead tossed her head slightly in order to free it from her teeth and promptly swallowed the broken body.
"Talorin was a traitor," she spoke, her gaze hard. "He led these beasts here, allowed them to hurt my mate, my children... I killed them all. I killed them, and now I've killed him, to pay for his crimes."
He could see her sanity shattering as she spoke, the shards flaking away to reveal a merciless beast. She had killed her own bond, and then eaten him... the recoil from the shattered mind-link was costly even when a bond died of natural causes, but to be the very cause of her own bond's death...
"You have a choice, Arbhirio... I intend to wipe these humans from the face of creation, along with every Myrsilkain who decides to defend the beasts. Every world, and every cesspit of a race that pushes its way into Myrsilkain life, I will purge." She stood then, stalking towards him even as her long tongue flicked out to collect her bond's lifeblood that stained her muzzle. "You can either join me... or you can die. What will it be, brother?"
He stood his ground, not looking away from Meirfina as she approached. To do so, he sensed, would be to die before he even spoke a word. But he didn't need to look away from her - the scene in the room was burned into his memory. Distantly, he was aware that shock was clouding his reactions, twisting his thoughts about into coils and loops that led one into another into another. A better Myrsilkain than he would protest - not all humans were evil, not all Myrsilkain good - or, perhaps, take her down, unwilling to allow her broken sanity to spread and find fertile ground in the minds and hearts of Myrsilkain both young and old.
He was not, however, a better Myrsilkain.
"I will join you."
Her smile, he discovered, was sharp as crystal shards.
Selected excerpts of NaNo
Moderators: Mystic Dragon, Xalia, Shard, Dray
-
StarFyre
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3246
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:44 am
- Location: Middle of Nowhere
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
More word-vomit, more violence, more "0___o;; THE MYRSILK DO WHAT?!" Er... enjoy?
Selverat clung tightly to Kerkael's horns as he stared in horror at the scene before him. Blood scattered across the green grass, splashing crimson marks on the grey stones that lay about the area, and staining the brown dirt a rusty tone as it soaked in. All from the two Myrsilkain that were fighting like their very lives depended upon it.
But not, Selverat acknowledged, fighting enemies. He could have accepted it if that was the case. He and Kerkael had fought plenty of creatures: draconic, shadowbeast, and even human on occasion, but this...
They were fighting each other, their long claws tearing through thick hide, their vicious tail blades slicing through the membranes of wings, crippling each other with a single minded ferocity he had never before seen between two Myrsilkain.
::We are not proud of this,:: Kerkael sent on a private mental band, as he stoically watched the battle between the two behemoths. ::We are not proud, but this is what we become when freed of the Clan's rules.::
Selverat twitched as his bond carefully shifted out of the way of a gout of blood, sickened by the brutality and the sheer uncaring of the other Myrsilkain who watched in their loose circle. Mostly all Fires, he saw, with two Lightnings sitting together, eerily still despite their Element's penchant for constant movement.
The two Fires in the center of their circle were evenly matched, of a size and build despite being of opposite genders. He didn't know either of them - Fires from other Clans that had drifted into the gathering a few nights ago, already ragged and weary from hunting through the collective of worlds for years to find other survivors. And now...
The female ducked under a clumsy lunge and retaliated by slashing the other's chest with her claws, ruby blood glistening in the sunlight as it spilled over flame colored hide. Her opponent screamed his pain to the sky, but didn't back off, instead bringing his tail into play, the eight blades along the tip tearing through the female's right wing with a sound like ripping cloth. The fighting continued, blood and flesh and even bone being revealed to the uncaring sun and the silent witness of dragons who sat and observed without interference or comment.
::Why?!:: Selverat cried to his bond mentally, trying to understand the sight before him. His answer wasn't in words, but rather a flood of emotions and impressions.
Danger-unknowns-invasion of territory-too many to support rippled through his mind, the feelings swirling and rising as he gazed about the circle of onlookers. Upstarts-place stealers-act above their position.
Selverat's gaze landed on Sessil, easily the largest of the Myrsilkain gathered in the circle, but to his surprise she only invoked a sense of Mine-second in command-powerful but knows her place whereas the male next to her, much smaller in size to the point where only a few were smaller, invoked a feeling of Outsider-dangerous-needs to be shown his place.
A moment later, the emotions and impressions faded back into the back of his mind, the sheer intensity of the foreign feelings enough to trigger the defenses he'd worked so desperately at as soon as he and Kerkael realized exactly how tightly the two of them were bound. But even there, he could feel the influence they had upon his thoughts -- he could not look upon the strangers now without feeling ill at ease, wary in a way that he had not previously been.
::Stripped of our places, we fight to make new places. Stripped of the assurance of food that a Clan provides, we consider all outsiders a danger,:: Kerkael put to words the lingering emotions, not taking his gaze from the fighters who were still tearing each other to shreds. ::Only the young and desperate take it this far, but we are all desperate, and many of us are young.::
Finally, the male in the center could no longer raise his head from the ground, and the female made what looked like ritual slashes on the throat of her victim, not deep enough to kill the other, but deep enough to likely scar unless the other was brought to a healer quickly. The circle of onlookers shifted, parting silently as the victor limped from the battleground, one wing trailing uselessly behind her and her left forelimb savaged nearly to the bone. A few moments later, a Wind Myrsilk drifted by and directed her summons to lift the loser up so that the battleground was once more free of bodies. An uneasy silence settled, as those in the circle eyed each other warily, posturing and baring their teeth at any who dared to look at them for long.
::Have you...?:: Selverat began, not entirely sure what he was asking. He knew Kerkael hadn't fought, their close bond was enough for him to be sure of that, but did the other want to, or did he already have a place?
Kerkael remained quiet, locked in a staring contest with another Fire across the way. The other Fire was posturing and posing, eyes narrowed, teeth barred, wings partially unfurled in an attempt to make himself larger. Kerkael, however, was merely meeting the other's gaze in silence, not bothering to participate in the posturing.
Finally, the other Fire looked away and barred his teeth at another Myrsilk, giving up the attempt to intimidate Kerkael.
::I have a place,:: Kerkael answered. ::It is an unusual place, but it is a place. Sessil defers to me, and she has yet to be beaten. Thus, the rest defer to me as if I have already fought for my place. But my lack of fighting marks me as a segjyr, a prideful warrior who thinks himself outside the rules.::
Selverat licked his lips, gazing about at the Myrsilkain around them. ::You will be challenged.::
::Eventually. It is no matter.::
Two Myrsilk, Sessil and another, a tiny Fire only a few steps above stunt, stepped out from the circle and into the center, beginning to circle each other in preparation for battle. Selverat swallowed hard. The difference in size between the two was like a wolf pup attacking the alpha -- why did the little one think it had a chance against Sessil?
He tried to look away, but the instincts that Kerkael had forced upon him held his gaze steady. To look away was to prove weakness, no matter how unequal the fight and how bloody the slaughter would be. And a slaughter it would be, Selverat felt. Sessil had proved herself skilled against even the smallest shadowbeasts, being unnaturally fast for a creature of her size.
She circled, unconcerned, forcing the little one to make the first move.
And move he did. Selverat had to admit, the little Fire was fast, likely expecting his speed to carry the fight against the largest Fire in their circle. But it was for naught. Sessil's tail coiled about and struck right before the little Fire would have hit her, her tail blades carving deep into the smaller Myrsilk's side and throwing him across the circle to land with a heavy thump. From there the battle escalated, the two striking and dodging and striking again. But Sessil was showing her skill, her hide unmarked but for a few shallow grooves where her opponent had caught her with the tips of his claws. The little one, however, was bleeding from numerous gashes, but looked unwilling to give.
Suddenly, as if a switch had been flipped, Sessil went from fighting to hold her place to fighting to kill. She reared up on her hind legs and lashed out with both front paws and tail. Her opponent tried to dodge, but reacted too slowly.
Sessil's bright gold claws tore through the smaller one's wings like paper, even as four of her tail blades embedded themselves deeply into the other's chest, leaving only a bare few inches free of flesh. She wretched her tail free with a sickening shlick, ruby blood gushing forth from the four puncture wounds as her opponent screamed in agony, blood flecking his muzzle.
A punctured lung, Selverat numbly diagnosed. He wasn't even going to glance at the ruins of the other's wings. He'd seen streamers of muscle and flesh falling from Sessil's claws as she withdrew to a safe distance. The likelyhood of the other flying again was slim, even with healing.
::Do not look away.:: Kerkael commanded. ::Do not dishonor this warrior, not matter what he did to call down Sessil's fury.::
Selverat swallowed, but obediently turned his gaze back to the slaughter.
The little one was swaying on his feet, eyes narrowed and hate pouring from his gaze. There wasn't even enough muscle left of his wings for him to properly fold them, so they draped across his back and the ground like a tattered parody of a king's regalia. Blood poured from his wounds, staining his yellow hide a ruby red and coating his markings to the point where they could no longer be seen. Blood dripped from his muzzle with every panting, wet breath he took.
::You'll... regret this... human-lover...:: The little Fire sent weakly, too wounded to even control who he sent the message to, and thus speaking to the entire gathering. ::My brother... will kill you.. and that... thing--:
:
Sessil roared her fury to the sky and brought her teeth down on the little one's neck. She clenched her jaw tight about the other's neck and wrenched her head to either side until a resounding snap echoed through the circle and the little Fire dropped lifelessly to the ground. She stood over the body, jaws parted in threat, blood streaking her muzzle and glistening wetly in the sun, and snarled at the others. ::Would anyone else like to contest my place, or the place of my Warrior-Leader and his bond?!::
Silence met her words, none of the gathered Myrsilkain daring to meet her gaze.
::I thought not.:: Sessil grumbled as she stepped over the body and made her way back to the place she had vacated. Her gaze fell on the two Lightnings, and she gestured to the body with a jerk her head. ::You two, take care of that, then get back here.::
The two scurried to obey her orders, nearly slinking on their bellies when they had to move past her, heads averted and tails held close to their bodies.
::Kerkael..?::
His bond attempted to send soothing thoughts, though Selverat still wanted to be sick at what Sessil had done with barely a pause. If this was what Myrsilkain were like without a Clan to keep them contained, he didn't want to be here, didn't want to be forced to witness any more of this brutality.
He desperately hoped Revent and Yikaeri were capable of uniting this mass of violence. The alternative didn't bear consideration...
Selverat clung tightly to Kerkael's horns as he stared in horror at the scene before him. Blood scattered across the green grass, splashing crimson marks on the grey stones that lay about the area, and staining the brown dirt a rusty tone as it soaked in. All from the two Myrsilkain that were fighting like their very lives depended upon it.
But not, Selverat acknowledged, fighting enemies. He could have accepted it if that was the case. He and Kerkael had fought plenty of creatures: draconic, shadowbeast, and even human on occasion, but this...
They were fighting each other, their long claws tearing through thick hide, their vicious tail blades slicing through the membranes of wings, crippling each other with a single minded ferocity he had never before seen between two Myrsilkain.
::We are not proud of this,:: Kerkael sent on a private mental band, as he stoically watched the battle between the two behemoths. ::We are not proud, but this is what we become when freed of the Clan's rules.::
Selverat twitched as his bond carefully shifted out of the way of a gout of blood, sickened by the brutality and the sheer uncaring of the other Myrsilkain who watched in their loose circle. Mostly all Fires, he saw, with two Lightnings sitting together, eerily still despite their Element's penchant for constant movement.
The two Fires in the center of their circle were evenly matched, of a size and build despite being of opposite genders. He didn't know either of them - Fires from other Clans that had drifted into the gathering a few nights ago, already ragged and weary from hunting through the collective of worlds for years to find other survivors. And now...
The female ducked under a clumsy lunge and retaliated by slashing the other's chest with her claws, ruby blood glistening in the sunlight as it spilled over flame colored hide. Her opponent screamed his pain to the sky, but didn't back off, instead bringing his tail into play, the eight blades along the tip tearing through the female's right wing with a sound like ripping cloth. The fighting continued, blood and flesh and even bone being revealed to the uncaring sun and the silent witness of dragons who sat and observed without interference or comment.
::Why?!:: Selverat cried to his bond mentally, trying to understand the sight before him. His answer wasn't in words, but rather a flood of emotions and impressions.
Danger-unknowns-invasion of territory-too many to support rippled through his mind, the feelings swirling and rising as he gazed about the circle of onlookers. Upstarts-place stealers-act above their position.
Selverat's gaze landed on Sessil, easily the largest of the Myrsilkain gathered in the circle, but to his surprise she only invoked a sense of Mine-second in command-powerful but knows her place whereas the male next to her, much smaller in size to the point where only a few were smaller, invoked a feeling of Outsider-dangerous-needs to be shown his place.
A moment later, the emotions and impressions faded back into the back of his mind, the sheer intensity of the foreign feelings enough to trigger the defenses he'd worked so desperately at as soon as he and Kerkael realized exactly how tightly the two of them were bound. But even there, he could feel the influence they had upon his thoughts -- he could not look upon the strangers now without feeling ill at ease, wary in a way that he had not previously been.
::Stripped of our places, we fight to make new places. Stripped of the assurance of food that a Clan provides, we consider all outsiders a danger,:: Kerkael put to words the lingering emotions, not taking his gaze from the fighters who were still tearing each other to shreds. ::Only the young and desperate take it this far, but we are all desperate, and many of us are young.::
Finally, the male in the center could no longer raise his head from the ground, and the female made what looked like ritual slashes on the throat of her victim, not deep enough to kill the other, but deep enough to likely scar unless the other was brought to a healer quickly. The circle of onlookers shifted, parting silently as the victor limped from the battleground, one wing trailing uselessly behind her and her left forelimb savaged nearly to the bone. A few moments later, a Wind Myrsilk drifted by and directed her summons to lift the loser up so that the battleground was once more free of bodies. An uneasy silence settled, as those in the circle eyed each other warily, posturing and baring their teeth at any who dared to look at them for long.
::Have you...?:: Selverat began, not entirely sure what he was asking. He knew Kerkael hadn't fought, their close bond was enough for him to be sure of that, but did the other want to, or did he already have a place?
Kerkael remained quiet, locked in a staring contest with another Fire across the way. The other Fire was posturing and posing, eyes narrowed, teeth barred, wings partially unfurled in an attempt to make himself larger. Kerkael, however, was merely meeting the other's gaze in silence, not bothering to participate in the posturing.
Finally, the other Fire looked away and barred his teeth at another Myrsilk, giving up the attempt to intimidate Kerkael.
::I have a place,:: Kerkael answered. ::It is an unusual place, but it is a place. Sessil defers to me, and she has yet to be beaten. Thus, the rest defer to me as if I have already fought for my place. But my lack of fighting marks me as a segjyr, a prideful warrior who thinks himself outside the rules.::
Selverat licked his lips, gazing about at the Myrsilkain around them. ::You will be challenged.::
::Eventually. It is no matter.::
Two Myrsilk, Sessil and another, a tiny Fire only a few steps above stunt, stepped out from the circle and into the center, beginning to circle each other in preparation for battle. Selverat swallowed hard. The difference in size between the two was like a wolf pup attacking the alpha -- why did the little one think it had a chance against Sessil?
He tried to look away, but the instincts that Kerkael had forced upon him held his gaze steady. To look away was to prove weakness, no matter how unequal the fight and how bloody the slaughter would be. And a slaughter it would be, Selverat felt. Sessil had proved herself skilled against even the smallest shadowbeasts, being unnaturally fast for a creature of her size.
She circled, unconcerned, forcing the little one to make the first move.
And move he did. Selverat had to admit, the little Fire was fast, likely expecting his speed to carry the fight against the largest Fire in their circle. But it was for naught. Sessil's tail coiled about and struck right before the little Fire would have hit her, her tail blades carving deep into the smaller Myrsilk's side and throwing him across the circle to land with a heavy thump. From there the battle escalated, the two striking and dodging and striking again. But Sessil was showing her skill, her hide unmarked but for a few shallow grooves where her opponent had caught her with the tips of his claws. The little one, however, was bleeding from numerous gashes, but looked unwilling to give.
Suddenly, as if a switch had been flipped, Sessil went from fighting to hold her place to fighting to kill. She reared up on her hind legs and lashed out with both front paws and tail. Her opponent tried to dodge, but reacted too slowly.
Sessil's bright gold claws tore through the smaller one's wings like paper, even as four of her tail blades embedded themselves deeply into the other's chest, leaving only a bare few inches free of flesh. She wretched her tail free with a sickening shlick, ruby blood gushing forth from the four puncture wounds as her opponent screamed in agony, blood flecking his muzzle.
A punctured lung, Selverat numbly diagnosed. He wasn't even going to glance at the ruins of the other's wings. He'd seen streamers of muscle and flesh falling from Sessil's claws as she withdrew to a safe distance. The likelyhood of the other flying again was slim, even with healing.
::Do not look away.:: Kerkael commanded. ::Do not dishonor this warrior, not matter what he did to call down Sessil's fury.::
Selverat swallowed, but obediently turned his gaze back to the slaughter.
The little one was swaying on his feet, eyes narrowed and hate pouring from his gaze. There wasn't even enough muscle left of his wings for him to properly fold them, so they draped across his back and the ground like a tattered parody of a king's regalia. Blood poured from his wounds, staining his yellow hide a ruby red and coating his markings to the point where they could no longer be seen. Blood dripped from his muzzle with every panting, wet breath he took.
::You'll... regret this... human-lover...:: The little Fire sent weakly, too wounded to even control who he sent the message to, and thus speaking to the entire gathering. ::My brother... will kill you.. and that... thing--:
:
Sessil roared her fury to the sky and brought her teeth down on the little one's neck. She clenched her jaw tight about the other's neck and wrenched her head to either side until a resounding snap echoed through the circle and the little Fire dropped lifelessly to the ground. She stood over the body, jaws parted in threat, blood streaking her muzzle and glistening wetly in the sun, and snarled at the others. ::Would anyone else like to contest my place, or the place of my Warrior-Leader and his bond?!::
Silence met her words, none of the gathered Myrsilkain daring to meet her gaze.
::I thought not.:: Sessil grumbled as she stepped over the body and made her way back to the place she had vacated. Her gaze fell on the two Lightnings, and she gestured to the body with a jerk her head. ::You two, take care of that, then get back here.::
The two scurried to obey her orders, nearly slinking on their bellies when they had to move past her, heads averted and tails held close to their bodies.
::Kerkael..?::
His bond attempted to send soothing thoughts, though Selverat still wanted to be sick at what Sessil had done with barely a pause. If this was what Myrsilkain were like without a Clan to keep them contained, he didn't want to be here, didn't want to be forced to witness any more of this brutality.
He desperately hoped Revent and Yikaeri were capable of uniting this mass of violence. The alternative didn't bear consideration...
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
Woah, but he doesn't even understand that she was doing it for him! What an entitled brat!
Nice writing so far! That was a good fighting scene. (The only suggestion that I would make is to change the word 'shlick' to 'shlack' or 'shak' or something. The first has... unfortunate connotations that I am certain you weren't going for!
Nice writing so far! That was a good fighting scene. (The only suggestion that I would make is to change the word 'shlick' to 'shlack' or 'shak' or something. The first has... unfortunate connotations that I am certain you weren't going for!
-
StarFyre
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3246
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:44 am
- Location: Middle of Nowhere
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
He does, intellectually. Well, he does after he gets a moment to process everything he's seen. Sessil's brutal killing of her opponent is a LITTLE out of character for her, and Selverat knows this, because she was part of his three-dragon team and spent a lot of her time with Kerkael. Except for shadowbeasts, Sessil usually isn't that violent.
<.< And hey, Sessil IS pulling four rather phallic shaped blades out of brand new holes in the side of the poor bastard's chest, soooo =P But yeah, it will probably get changed. There are some things I don't really like about it, now that I come back a day later -- Selverat should probably actually go into the same no-nonsense state that he does when faced with the slaughter of the entire Clan, which would better explain Kerkael's ability to stand above the posturing. (Selverat basically shuts his emotions down, and that bleeds over into Kerkael since they're so closely bound.) Too, the fight needs to be restructured a bit, I am, as always, displeased with it =P
<.< And hey, Sessil IS pulling four rather phallic shaped blades out of brand new holes in the side of the poor bastard's chest, soooo =P But yeah, it will probably get changed. There are some things I don't really like about it, now that I come back a day later -- Selverat should probably actually go into the same no-nonsense state that he does when faced with the slaughter of the entire Clan, which would better explain Kerkael's ability to stand above the posturing. (Selverat basically shuts his emotions down, and that bleeds over into Kerkael since they're so closely bound.) Too, the fight needs to be restructured a bit, I am, as always, displeased with it =P
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
Hah, it reads nicely to me at least! May I post excerpts from Kat's and my nanoing here, too? I don't know if we have anything exciting (though we DO have a fight scene! 
Maybe we could do a compare/contrast thing? XD)
Maybe we could do a compare/contrast thing? XD)-
StarFyre
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3246
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:44 am
- Location: Middle of Nowhere
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
Sure, go ahead! I think it's interesting to read what over's've wrote. Besides, it's not like I'm posting EVERY scene.. that'd just be boring! (especially because most of them need a plastic surgeon like WOAH =P )
I tend to prefer my "finished product" fight scenes to more resemble what I wrote iiiinn... ... huh. Well, how interesting. Upon rereading the fights in Evoril's story, they're actually pretty similar to what I wrote here. I mean, they've been polished since I actually revised and edited that story before I posted it, but the basic structure is still there. *taps finger on chin* Huh. The things you learn about your own writing style when you don't give yourself time to overthink it.
I tend to prefer my "finished product" fight scenes to more resemble what I wrote iiiinn... ... huh. Well, how interesting. Upon rereading the fights in Evoril's story, they're actually pretty similar to what I wrote here. I mean, they've been polished since I actually revised and edited that story before I posted it, but the basic structure is still there. *taps finger on chin* Huh. The things you learn about your own writing style when you don't give yourself time to overthink it.
-
Yakima
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3824
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:17 pm
- Location: Minnesota, USA
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
The records do not state when the Dome City came about. Nor do they state the exsact reasoning behind it. What is known is that hundreds of years ago, a city fell from the sky, bringing with them the humans to this world. Many records were lost of those early years when the humans became a part of our world and culture. There are those that think that perhaps what is written in song is true; that they are our saviours and that the Dome City must be to protect them.
Then there is the reality that speaks greater truths than the songs and tales sung by our people. To the humans, we are called elves for that is what we resemble to them. We are a long lived race, living at least a thousand years before old age is able to claim us. We are fair in feature according the that of men though we do not possessed the magic they claim we do. According to our ledgends, we were once different, though we do not know how.
The reality that we now face is that the Dome City is dying. That which has protected the humans for so long has become their prison and our doom, should we choose to enter it. The air is poison to our skin and lungs. Over the last hundred years it has only become worse to the point that our scientists claim that the Dome is failing.
In the wild, there are those called Rangers, an elite group of fighters charged with protecting and monitoring the permitier of the Dome. These Rangers are both scientists and soldiers. They are few for many have lost their lives to the Dome, becoming obsessed or foolish enough to attempt to enter it. It has been noted that once you enter the Dome, you cannot get back out. The humans cannot pass through the glass-like structure just as we cannot step back into our world.
This tale begins at the edge of the Dome, on the north-eastern edge on a fall evening as the sun is setting.
Ashar Andyran stood staring at the crystalline structure that shimmered in the sunlight. His mind did not seem to comprehend what was before him nor the sound and smells around him as a Ranger should. The wind caught the tuff of pale golden hair that fell around his face under his dark green hood.
His pain was all he knew.
There was one way he could end this pain, the pain of loss. His hands clentched at the letter he held, the verdict of betrayal from the girl he had loved. She had abanonded him, left him for another. It was almost taboo to his people. Love was meant to be enternal, everlasting. A friendship that could never be broken. And she had broken it. It was not a letter stating her death, as he had almost now hoped. Her death he could live with. But not this…never this.
Tears streamed down his face as he stared at the Dome. Raising his hands he rested them gently on the smooth, warm surface. All he wanted was death. To end his pain. He knew he could. Beyond the glass walls were fields of corn and cotton; they were nothing like the farmer’s fields around his city where the corn grew high and healthy, and the cotton thicker than a man’s fist. Beyond the Dome, the land was dead. How they managed to grow anything baffled the scienteists of the High City. But they did; thriving in numbers beyond the wall in their City.
All he had to do was take several steps through the Dome and his pain would slowly end as the fatal gasses within robbed him of breath and feeling.
With a slight bit of effort, Ashar pushed his hand into the Dome.
Then froze.
As small, slender hand reached up to touch his, attempting to align tiny fingers with his. For a moment, Ashar tried to understand what this was. Through his tears, green eyes rested on the golden-brown orbs of a young girl, her hair matted and wild around her face like a lion’s mane. It was not blond, nor red but something more in between. Her face was dirty and she clutched a faded stuffed animal that was so worn and tattered Ashar could never have guessed it had once been a teddy bear.
The girl looked up to him, eyes wide with concern. She bit her lower lip, looking at where their hands almost connected before looking back up at him. Her mouth moved – she was speaking but he could not hear her. Ashar could not move, his mind watching her, loosing himself in the golden gaze. She kept talking, soon appearing to be screaming at him. Dropping her teddy bear, she placed her other hand over his other hand as if she was trying to stop him.
Which she was.
Amberlene was screaming at him, wanting to know why he was crying and what was wrong. She knew what he was; her father had told her plenty of stories about the elves and those that roamed the outside of the Dome. This was her first time seeing one. He was dressed in dark clothing that looked almost forigen to her, a hood over his head that masked out most of his face but she could see the tears.
“Amberlene!” her father cried, whipping his brow as he jumped from the tractor to walk toward her. “Get away from there.”
She turned, hesitantly taking her eyes from the figure beyond the glass dome. “Papa! I found an elf. He’s crying.”
Andre frowned, now setting the prone figure standing against the wall. Taking out a dirty rag, he whipped his brown as he moved over to where his youngest daughter was still screaming at the elf. The Ranger stood there, not moving. “Come away, Amber,” he said.
“But, he’s hurt.”
How does one explain such a thing to a seven year old girl? Andre frowned. He knew what the elf was doing – they often did this. He would have to call it in and let the scientists have another elf specimen for their research. It was a mystery to the humans of the City why the elves could not live on this side of the wall. Everytime one suicided their bodies were brought in to be cut up and examined, tested until nothing was left. From the looks of this one, he would soon be just another test experiment.
“I want to help him,” Amberlene said. “He looks so sad and…” She looked at her father’s sad face and her heart fell. “I don’t want to let him die,” she whispered, slowly letting her hands drop to her sides.
“I know, sweetheart. But it’s his choice.”
Outside the wall, Ashar fell to his knees his hands sliding against the wall as he watched the human man talk to the girl. It was her father – the likness was noticeable. He picked up her teddy bear and before her. As he carried her away, the girl looked over her father’s shoulder, biting her lower lip. Ashar’s eyes never left hers, following them as the tractor left the fields.
He felt like he had been hit with a train in his gut – and his heart. At the same time, he felt like a fishing line had been pulled taunt, pulling him in to the Dome. But this time, it wasn’t so that he could die. That little girl had just saved his life by giving him a new reason to live again.
Andre settled Amberlene back on the tractor and started back to the farm house while calling for the police. The girl’s sudden outburst caused him to turn around. Before he could stop her, Amberlene had jumped to the ground and was running back to the Dome. He followed, hanging up on the police.
When they returned to where they had seen Ashar, all that was left was a piece of paper which was soon claimed by the wind.
“Did he die, daddy?” Amberlene asked, her voice full of childish hope.
“No,” was all Andre could say, looking into the dark forests of the elven world that humans could only dream about. Amberlene grabbed his hand and held on for joy not realizing what her father had just realized.
That is the beginning of my NaNo...thought I know the part with the father explaining what is going on needs work...but yeah.
Then there is the reality that speaks greater truths than the songs and tales sung by our people. To the humans, we are called elves for that is what we resemble to them. We are a long lived race, living at least a thousand years before old age is able to claim us. We are fair in feature according the that of men though we do not possessed the magic they claim we do. According to our ledgends, we were once different, though we do not know how.
The reality that we now face is that the Dome City is dying. That which has protected the humans for so long has become their prison and our doom, should we choose to enter it. The air is poison to our skin and lungs. Over the last hundred years it has only become worse to the point that our scientists claim that the Dome is failing.
In the wild, there are those called Rangers, an elite group of fighters charged with protecting and monitoring the permitier of the Dome. These Rangers are both scientists and soldiers. They are few for many have lost their lives to the Dome, becoming obsessed or foolish enough to attempt to enter it. It has been noted that once you enter the Dome, you cannot get back out. The humans cannot pass through the glass-like structure just as we cannot step back into our world.
This tale begins at the edge of the Dome, on the north-eastern edge on a fall evening as the sun is setting.
Ashar Andyran stood staring at the crystalline structure that shimmered in the sunlight. His mind did not seem to comprehend what was before him nor the sound and smells around him as a Ranger should. The wind caught the tuff of pale golden hair that fell around his face under his dark green hood.
His pain was all he knew.
There was one way he could end this pain, the pain of loss. His hands clentched at the letter he held, the verdict of betrayal from the girl he had loved. She had abanonded him, left him for another. It was almost taboo to his people. Love was meant to be enternal, everlasting. A friendship that could never be broken. And she had broken it. It was not a letter stating her death, as he had almost now hoped. Her death he could live with. But not this…never this.
Tears streamed down his face as he stared at the Dome. Raising his hands he rested them gently on the smooth, warm surface. All he wanted was death. To end his pain. He knew he could. Beyond the glass walls were fields of corn and cotton; they were nothing like the farmer’s fields around his city where the corn grew high and healthy, and the cotton thicker than a man’s fist. Beyond the Dome, the land was dead. How they managed to grow anything baffled the scienteists of the High City. But they did; thriving in numbers beyond the wall in their City.
All he had to do was take several steps through the Dome and his pain would slowly end as the fatal gasses within robbed him of breath and feeling.
With a slight bit of effort, Ashar pushed his hand into the Dome.
Then froze.
As small, slender hand reached up to touch his, attempting to align tiny fingers with his. For a moment, Ashar tried to understand what this was. Through his tears, green eyes rested on the golden-brown orbs of a young girl, her hair matted and wild around her face like a lion’s mane. It was not blond, nor red but something more in between. Her face was dirty and she clutched a faded stuffed animal that was so worn and tattered Ashar could never have guessed it had once been a teddy bear.
The girl looked up to him, eyes wide with concern. She bit her lower lip, looking at where their hands almost connected before looking back up at him. Her mouth moved – she was speaking but he could not hear her. Ashar could not move, his mind watching her, loosing himself in the golden gaze. She kept talking, soon appearing to be screaming at him. Dropping her teddy bear, she placed her other hand over his other hand as if she was trying to stop him.
Which she was.
Amberlene was screaming at him, wanting to know why he was crying and what was wrong. She knew what he was; her father had told her plenty of stories about the elves and those that roamed the outside of the Dome. This was her first time seeing one. He was dressed in dark clothing that looked almost forigen to her, a hood over his head that masked out most of his face but she could see the tears.
“Amberlene!” her father cried, whipping his brow as he jumped from the tractor to walk toward her. “Get away from there.”
She turned, hesitantly taking her eyes from the figure beyond the glass dome. “Papa! I found an elf. He’s crying.”
Andre frowned, now setting the prone figure standing against the wall. Taking out a dirty rag, he whipped his brown as he moved over to where his youngest daughter was still screaming at the elf. The Ranger stood there, not moving. “Come away, Amber,” he said.
“But, he’s hurt.”
How does one explain such a thing to a seven year old girl? Andre frowned. He knew what the elf was doing – they often did this. He would have to call it in and let the scientists have another elf specimen for their research. It was a mystery to the humans of the City why the elves could not live on this side of the wall. Everytime one suicided their bodies were brought in to be cut up and examined, tested until nothing was left. From the looks of this one, he would soon be just another test experiment.
“I want to help him,” Amberlene said. “He looks so sad and…” She looked at her father’s sad face and her heart fell. “I don’t want to let him die,” she whispered, slowly letting her hands drop to her sides.
“I know, sweetheart. But it’s his choice.”
Outside the wall, Ashar fell to his knees his hands sliding against the wall as he watched the human man talk to the girl. It was her father – the likness was noticeable. He picked up her teddy bear and before her. As he carried her away, the girl looked over her father’s shoulder, biting her lower lip. Ashar’s eyes never left hers, following them as the tractor left the fields.
He felt like he had been hit with a train in his gut – and his heart. At the same time, he felt like a fishing line had been pulled taunt, pulling him in to the Dome. But this time, it wasn’t so that he could die. That little girl had just saved his life by giving him a new reason to live again.
Andre settled Amberlene back on the tractor and started back to the farm house while calling for the police. The girl’s sudden outburst caused him to turn around. Before he could stop her, Amberlene had jumped to the ground and was running back to the Dome. He followed, hanging up on the police.
When they returned to where they had seen Ashar, all that was left was a piece of paper which was soon claimed by the wind.
“Did he die, daddy?” Amberlene asked, her voice full of childish hope.
“No,” was all Andre could say, looking into the dark forests of the elven world that humans could only dream about. Amberlene grabbed his hand and held on for joy not realizing what her father had just realized.
That is the beginning of my NaNo...thought I know the part with the father explaining what is going on needs work...but yeah.
~ Weyrwoman Yakima of Isla Weyr
Isla Weyr: http://www.isla.mage-circle.com
Velare Isle: http://www.velare.mage-circle.com
Treval Dragonry: http://www.treval.mage-circle.com
Alair WolfKeep
The Last Oddessy: http://www.last-oddessy.mage-circle.com
Baskar Castle: http://www.baskar.mage-circle.com
World of Sentra: http://www.sentra.mage-circle.com
Isla Weyr: http://www.isla.mage-circle.com
Velare Isle: http://www.velare.mage-circle.com
Treval Dragonry: http://www.treval.mage-circle.com
Alair WolfKeep
The Last Oddessy: http://www.last-oddessy.mage-circle.com
Baskar Castle: http://www.baskar.mage-circle.com
World of Sentra: http://www.sentra.mage-circle.com
-
StarFyre
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3246
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:44 am
- Location: Middle of Nowhere
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
Language! Specifically, the Myrsilkain language. I don't have sentence structure or verb-forms figured out yet, since I mostly just needed the letters and some sounds, but this is what I currently have:
Letters and their sounds: (if no sound is listed, assume it makes a fairly standard english-sound)
A: "ah" or "ay"
E: "eh" or "ee"
I: "ih" or "ee"
O: "oh" or "oo"
B:
K:
C/S: c can only make the "ss" sound
D:
F:
G:
H:
J:
L:
M:
N:
R:
T:
V:
W:
Y: y is strictly a vowel, "yee" or "yeh"
Blends:
MYR: "myahr"
GJ: "z"
Trill/whistle:
FS: a breathy whistle, explosive at the start then tapers off, mouth starts at the "ff" position and moves towards "s"
(Pretty sure I'll be putting more sounds here later, but "fs" was mouth-play that I really liked, so kept)
Words:
Shadow: Root form: "komeir"; Noun form: "komeirtan"
Shade: Root: "meir"; Noun: "meiran"
Spin: Root: "regjim"; Noun: "regjimga"
Sing: Root: "ka"; Noun: "kanot"
Titles used as "names", note that the words are kinda slurred together, they aren't "official" words, more like slang that became official titles as the wars went on:
Shadowsinger (Kokuei/Ardhirio's official name that he's known by in the records): Komeirtakan -- his name was often shortened to "Takan"
Shadowspinner (Meirfina's official name in the records): Komeirtaregj -- her name was often shortened to "Taregj"
Meirfina's name is officially something to do with "Shade", though I'm not sure where "Fina" comes from. Ardhirio's name I really don't know. The use of "Kokuei" for him is just me using japanese for "cool names" back when I first made him.
Letters and their sounds: (if no sound is listed, assume it makes a fairly standard english-sound)
A: "ah" or "ay"
E: "eh" or "ee"
I: "ih" or "ee"
O: "oh" or "oo"
B:
K:
C/S: c can only make the "ss" sound
D:
F:
G:
H:
J:
L:
M:
N:
R:
T:
V:
W:
Y: y is strictly a vowel, "yee" or "yeh"
Blends:
MYR: "myahr"
GJ: "z"
Trill/whistle:
FS: a breathy whistle, explosive at the start then tapers off, mouth starts at the "ff" position and moves towards "s"
(Pretty sure I'll be putting more sounds here later, but "fs" was mouth-play that I really liked, so kept)
Words:
Shadow: Root form: "komeir"; Noun form: "komeirtan"
Shade: Root: "meir"; Noun: "meiran"
Spin: Root: "regjim"; Noun: "regjimga"
Sing: Root: "ka"; Noun: "kanot"
Titles used as "names", note that the words are kinda slurred together, they aren't "official" words, more like slang that became official titles as the wars went on:
Shadowsinger (Kokuei/Ardhirio's official name that he's known by in the records): Komeirtakan -- his name was often shortened to "Takan"
Shadowspinner (Meirfina's official name in the records): Komeirtaregj -- her name was often shortened to "Taregj"
Meirfina's name is officially something to do with "Shade", though I'm not sure where "Fina" comes from. Ardhirio's name I really don't know. The use of "Kokuei" for him is just me using japanese for "cool names" back when I first made him.
-
StarFyre
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3246
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:44 am
- Location: Middle of Nowhere
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
What is this I don't even.... ALSO! Three Myrsilk attempt to puzzle out wtf a gas giant is, and what that strange silvery liquid is. (creative license for the 'solid core' of a gas giant, go!) This is apparently where my brain goes after a hard cider and a random spurious comment of "Heh, Nekeel doesn't actually make world-paths the same way other Voids do." Which turned into: "Wait, making world-paths is supposed to be this highly dangerous activity... why wouldn't he be taught how to do it right?" Which turned into: "Well, I've already got two non-Voids tagging along with him, sooooo... I guess they helped him figure it out?" Which turned into: "Yeah, but... why wouldn't he have been taught how to do it 'right'?" Which turned into: "... huh. Edges. I WONDER WHAT'S OUT THERE!" Which currently hasn't gone anywhere yet, but I'm pretty sure it will.
http://www.silveredmagic.com/downloads/First%20Jump.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; (I really didn't feel like trying to include all those i and b tags >_> )
http://www.silveredmagic.com/downloads/First%20Jump.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; (I really didn't feel like trying to include all those i and b tags >_> )
-
Yakima
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3824
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:17 pm
- Location: Minnesota, USA
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
Is then when I mention that i and b tags were depricated with HTML5? 
And that I cheat using Dreamweaver's live view by copy and pasting into it so it automatically does all that annoying work for me? (just can't do colored text without the validator having a fit...) *ducks*
Anyway...
Silly dragons.
And that I cheat using Dreamweaver's live view by copy and pasting into it so it automatically does all that annoying work for me? (just can't do colored text without the validator having a fit...) *ducks*Anyway...
Silly dragons.
~ Weyrwoman Yakima of Isla Weyr
Isla Weyr: http://www.isla.mage-circle.com
Velare Isle: http://www.velare.mage-circle.com
Treval Dragonry: http://www.treval.mage-circle.com
Alair WolfKeep
The Last Oddessy: http://www.last-oddessy.mage-circle.com
Baskar Castle: http://www.baskar.mage-circle.com
World of Sentra: http://www.sentra.mage-circle.com
Isla Weyr: http://www.isla.mage-circle.com
Velare Isle: http://www.velare.mage-circle.com
Treval Dragonry: http://www.treval.mage-circle.com
Alair WolfKeep
The Last Oddessy: http://www.last-oddessy.mage-circle.com
Baskar Castle: http://www.baskar.mage-circle.com
World of Sentra: http://www.sentra.mage-circle.com
-
StarFyre
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3246
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:44 am
- Location: Middle of Nowhere
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
Uhm. No. I have found no source anywhere that lists i (italics) and b (bold) as depreciated. ss (strikethrough) and u (underline) ARE, however, but i and b... no. Also, I'm using a specific writing program (ywriter) to keep everything organized in a way that makes sense to me, and so my comment about adding in the tags was more a reflection of having to go back through and find every instance of places where italics or bold were and add bbcode in the right places. Considering it was like.. 5 AM at the time? No.
=P But yeah, they are being pretty silly near the end, aren't they. I had to bite my tongue in a few places and try to figure out how non-scientific humans and dragons would react to something that I KNOW has a specific solution (newest science SAYS...) but that DOESN'T have a solution in their world-view (specifically, a gas being compressed into a liquid-metallic form). It was... informative. Also, "flying air" luuuuullzzzzz
=P But yeah, they are being pretty silly near the end, aren't they. I had to bite my tongue in a few places and try to figure out how non-scientific humans and dragons would react to something that I KNOW has a specific solution (newest science SAYS...) but that DOESN'T have a solution in their world-view (specifically, a gas being compressed into a liquid-metallic form). It was... informative. Also, "flying air" luuuuullzzzzz
-
Yakima
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3824
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:17 pm
- Location: Minnesota, USA
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
True, I know they're still used but <em> and <strong> sorta replaced them...I did find a good website that explained it a lot better than my teacher...and apparently he was wrong when he said they were deprecated.
~ Weyrwoman Yakima of Isla Weyr
Isla Weyr: http://www.isla.mage-circle.com
Velare Isle: http://www.velare.mage-circle.com
Treval Dragonry: http://www.treval.mage-circle.com
Alair WolfKeep
The Last Oddessy: http://www.last-oddessy.mage-circle.com
Baskar Castle: http://www.baskar.mage-circle.com
World of Sentra: http://www.sentra.mage-circle.com
Isla Weyr: http://www.isla.mage-circle.com
Velare Isle: http://www.velare.mage-circle.com
Treval Dragonry: http://www.treval.mage-circle.com
Alair WolfKeep
The Last Oddessy: http://www.last-oddessy.mage-circle.com
Baskar Castle: http://www.baskar.mage-circle.com
World of Sentra: http://www.sentra.mage-circle.com
-
StarFyre
- Ancient Dragon
- Posts: 3246
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:44 am
- Location: Middle of Nowhere
- Contact:
Re: Selected excerpts of NaNo
Sorta, but not really. Face it, no one's really going to give up using i and b the way they always have, especially with so many direct-to-html things out there that will continue to use i and b the way they always have. As far as I see, I just have the option of telling the browser exactly how i and b should act in certain situations. But you're always going to have to play the legacy game, and until there's a way to tell the browser which version of html to use to render a page, nothing's really going to come of these changes.