Lookin' for critique... ^.^;

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Unyko
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Lookin' for critique... ^.^;

Post by Unyko »

So I've just realized that I signed up for a secret santa over in dA land, and completely forgot to sketch out the base for my gift before leaving my scanner behind in PA. >.>; So I loaded SAI on the desktop computer here and sketched something up that I think I can work with.

Only problem is, I'm not sure if I did it right. x.x With a pencil and paper, my hand pretty much knows what it's doing. With the tablet.. things are a bit more... instinctive? Also, it's hard to take a step back and peer at it with squinty-eyes here (because the computer is pretty much smashed into a corner, monitor facing the wall). DX

So, now that I've gotten that out of the way, is there anyone out there that can give me some sort of feedback? *hopeful*

Image

Any kind of critique is welcome. Descriptive, redline.. whatever you can come up with. ^.^;

EDIT: Aw rats. D: I just realized that the home computer's screen is set to widescreen. *facepalm* Which means the pic I did looks just fine on -that- screen, but all smooshed anywhere else. *SHAKEFIST*

At least I realized it in the sketch phase. Easy to fix now, harder to fix with lineart/color. >.>; *scamper off to try and fix problem*

EDIT 2: There, all fixed. ^.^;; That's closer to what I saw when I sketched the thing out in the first place. XD
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Dray
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Post by Dray »

There's a major curve in the spine near the hips that I'm not sure would be quite that bendy! Perhaps moving the character's groin up a vertebra or two would help to make it look like most of that bend is happening in the legs? Then again, it could be that the instrument is covering over part of his body, and I'm getting thrown off because it looks like negative space!

You could probably foreshorten his nearer arm since the tilt on the box of the instrument points more towards us than it appears that his arm on the neck is!

Not much else to suggest, though that one root that looks like it's spiraling around seems a little odd! You could probably simplify that in order to retain focus on the character.

Perhaps having some kind of animal companion (like a bird or a squirrel or a frog?) on the tip of the instrument, or a root, or a tree branch would add some story to the picture!

Oh! Select his head and move the entire thing a few pixels to the right on the screen. I get the gesture that you're going for, but his head doesn't look like it attaches to his spine right now because the tilt on it is quite extreme! (tl;dr: Either move the head to the right, or expand his left (our right) cheek so that he's not turning so sharply; his chin would probably either jut out more, or his nose would extend down more and you'd see less of his mouth if he's supposed to have his head tilted down a little to regard the tuning process!)
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Shard
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Post by Shard »

I was thinking his left leg which is currently down, could be bent and moved so it's more upright. That would probably take care of the unusually long body shape. :)
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Unyko
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Post by Unyko »

Alright, I've taken everything into consideration, and did a quick redline. Hopefully someone will see this before I hafta finish it so I can get just a smidge more feedback, but if not, then thanks for all the help you've already given me. *LOVE*

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And then I did some different leg poses, to see what worked best. >.>;
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I kinda like this one the best, but something about the knees looks off. x.x like his legs are different lengths or something, but one of them is supposed to be foreshortened a little. *frustrated with own lack of skills*

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I'd like this one, but again, one leg looks funny. D: And he looks a little too scrunched up. >.>;

*hopeful* Anyone?
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