Me = / = Public Speaking

Post by **Dray** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:05 pm

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl under a rock and die of shame?

I went into a critique today on a process book for something that I'm really excited about, and wound up panicking while trying to explain myself. D: To make it worse I was nearly in tears when everyone said that I could do it later, so I had to flee class. I'm so embarrassed about it... and I'm not sure why it happened. Just... went up, got super tongue-tied, and then my brain turned off and the waterworks went on. *facedesk* It's only happened once before, and that was when I tried to pass off a project that I knew was done terribly but I didn't know how to make any better. :c This particular project I was really excited about and thought I'd done a pretty decent jorb on... however, when I went up to talk about the world concept, everyone just looked so bored or lost that I felt like a complete putz, I guess.

Anyways, does anyone else here loathe public speaking (or talking about personal projects, for that matter) in real life? I feel like it's different online because people can always go TL;DR and move to the next thing. Having a literally captive audience and knowing that they'd rather be anywhere but listening to me, but forcing them to do so anyways just gives my tripes the gribblies.

Shard · Post by **Shard** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:28 pm

When I'm online I feel very comfortable. When I'm out in public, unless it's a subject I'm very, very well versed in, I tend to shut up.

I won't participate in karaoke events, at a friend's house - they know I can't sing, I know I can't sing, but they want me to join anyway, and I'm always just "nope". If I do have to speak about something, I really do like to know that I'm right, otherwise durr.

I always forget where I'm going with things, if they get complicated. Halfway through a long sentence I'll just go "... whaaaaat was I even talking about?"

Anyone who'd ever talked to me at the comic shop when I ran it, would say otherwise, but again that's really in the "I know it all anyway so I can sound like a know it all".

Post by **StarFyre** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:54 pm

Ditto with the online == comfortable, thing. I always feel like such a klutz when I have to talk in the real world, not so much as putting my foot in my mouth, but more of "ohgodspanic.. I don't know what I should say, panic.." Words are not my friend in person. Half of it is because I always forget the words I want to use, which leaves me going, "Uhmm.. thing.. with the.. thing.. it means.. this, but not quite, and.. I don't know the word! *cry*"

Butyes. I'm currently in a writing class, mostly for funsies and because I wanted to get back into writing. It's turned into a rather soul-sucking experience (even outside of the professor, who at least is okay with me writing whatever). The other students tend to write riffs on the whole "this is earth, watch humans live their lives" concept whereas I've been writing things more akin to what I write here -- strange worlds, strange names, etc. Nothing like sitting there in silence and listening to people say, "The names bother me." "The setting bothers me." "Botherbotherbother." *rolls eyes* Grawr.

Post by **Dray** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:10 pm

Sounds like your class is full of them Canadians what with their depressing tales of mundane obsolescence. XD

But yes! Finding the right words in real time is my bane! I can dredge up any articulate word on the internet because I have a couple of seconds here and there to pause, think, and remember. In the real world, nobody gives you any time to use the words you want to before they get bored and stop listening. It drives me nuts! I have to dumb myself down to keep at an even pace with them, so I feel a lot stupider speaking with people, and worry that I sound it, to. I'm getting better at keeping my train of thought, but not super-great... and oh god. Just listening to myself trying to explain this project in real life sounded so incredibly lame in my own ears. I had everything ready to go just beforehand but completely lost it. Arg.

"Here's uh, some technology and uh, AI's and stuff and... and... things? Oh crap. D: This sounds really stupid!" *runs away*

Xenoqueen · Post by **Xenoqueen** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:17 pm

I have social anxiety, was even medicated for it once, so oh YES do I understand. I panic at being put on the spot, even with friends. Hell, I even got OpenCanvas stage fright once. XD And sometimes when I speak I swear I have an impediment. You know spoonerisms? Yeah, I do those all the time.

Kitsuneko · Post by **Kitsuneko** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:17 pm

I hate talking to anyone face-to-face, much less being the center of a crowd, half the time people are surprised when I speak up at all cause it doesn't look like I'm listening. It's bad enough that I half-suspect I might have Asperger's syndrome, but then I think I'm being a hypochondriac. XD
Then again, I'm not exactly talkactive online either... >.>

Post by **Dray** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:28 pm

I hadn't known what a spoonerism was, but now I do! I use them (accidentally) all the damn time. :x It gets to the point of having to stutter, stop, and then start again at some points.

...I think maybe I'm on the internet too much. XD It has shielded me from learning to speak properly or something.

Then again, at least it is full of people who are likewise more interested in speaking without using words! :D

And Shard... I had forgotten that you worked in a comic shop! That's so neat! :D

delyar · Post by **delyar** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:10 pm

I am so incredibly socially anxious when it comes to unplanned things. Like I break down and panic when I think about going to a social event which is optional, like a club meeting or a party or the movies with a group of friends or even a workshop I have to have signed up for (key is you have to say if you want to go beforehand). This carries over to the internet, "oh my god nobody is going to care about that why would I even bother!" and such, so I often just shut my mouth and lurk. (Doubly so if it's on voice chat, like with my guildies, oh the times I unplugged my mic and just bawled out of sheer "oh my god I am such an idiot I cannot function in a social situation" hysteria after one person seemed annoyed with me.)

But give me a planned public speaking event or project and I will rock that shit... so long as I'm not too invested in it. If it means something, I am more likely to be anxious but I only hyperventilate/panic/break down about things I can get out of.

Also, *hugs*

JKatkina · Post by **JKatkina** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:19 pm

But give me a planned public speaking event or project and I will rock that shit... so long as I'm not too invested in it. If it means something, I am more likely to be anxious but I only hyperventilate/panic/break down about things I can get out of.

Classic introvert! I am exactly the same way... I was told (once, long ago) that I'm a really great public speaker after giving the one and only speech I've ever given... but fuck, I haven't thrown or attended a party of any sort in years because "why should I even bother oh god no one wants to have a party with me they've all got better things to do right?"

Perhaps us nexiians are of a particular breed. I really want to hang out with you guys in real life because it's so freaking hard to find and get to know other introverts in the real world. :( We're all too damn quiet.

delyar · Post by **delyar** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:57 pm

I used to do professional public speaking all through grade school. I was valedictorian in grade 8. I would agree with the introvert comment if I didn't get so emo without human contact. I need to be around people or I feel exhausted. Which is textbook extrovert. >.> <.<

JKatkina · Post by **JKatkina** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:59 pm

Oh man, I feel for you! It sounds like you've got the short end of both sticks. :(

Post by **StarFyre** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:41 pm

Y'know, maybe some summer or whatever we should have a Nexiian gathering. Of course, the first, two or three minutes/hours will be "*stare* Uhm.. so, uh.. I'm Starfyre..." "... *staretwitch* .. Jkat.." "Dray... *hiding on couch hugging a pillow*" "Delyar *squeeks*...." "...." "*everyone turns to the only one old enough to be our mother* Ssssshhhaaaaarrrd! *puppy dog eyes* Please play host..?"

=P

Anyway, yeah, I'm pretty classic introvert. I hate "class participation" grades, because I always feel that if I TRY to talk, I'm stepping on other people's toes, and so I don't speak, and so teachers think I have nothing to contribute, and so class participation goes down ze drain. I know I should probably try to be a bit more aggressive with that, but I just can't make myself fight for talking time when I usually don't feel that anything I have to say is worthwhile.

And... I'm a table top gamer. And I sometimes run games at the local 3 day gaming convention. And.. yeeeaaahh. *twitch* Introverts make for wierd GMs, but at least most gamers know how to deal with that =P

Shard · Post by **Shard** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:44 pm

*SNERK!* lol I think it'd be awesome and I SO wish we could

*waves cane* sit on my lawn! hehehehehe!

JKatkina · Post by **JKatkina** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:54 pm

omg! XD We just got INVITED onto Shard's lawn! I did not think that could happen. *sits among the flamingos*

I think a gathering would be so cool. Actually in social situations where I feel like I should be talking, I've trained myself up to at least try... which usually ends up with me getting really loud and obnoxious which is just painful to listen to. XD This could be an interesting social experiment...

Xenoqueen · Post by **Xenoqueen** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:56 pm

It could turn out like when I unexpectedly found/met Unyko at a convention for, like, 90 seconds. XD "OMG FLAIL HUG FLEE!"

Post by **StarFyre** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:00 pm

Yeah, but if we're sitting amidst the flamingos on Shard's lawn, there will be nowhere to flee to! ... Uhoh, I just found out Shard's master plan, didn't I? She'll turn us all into nexiian-flamingos!

We should totally plan something. It'd be fun. And we could say we spent several hundred dollars for a weekend of awkward silences! (Or, a weekend of very entertaining conversation and communal-drawing time. Though I'm betting we'd end up sitting down and drawing to break the ice of being face to face. Nothing like critiques to thaw out societal politeness =P )

delyar · Post by **delyar** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:09 pm

This sounds like either a disaster or an excellent plan. At the very least flamingo-decorated name tags would be required.

Also, Star, I burst out laughing and had to explain this all to my roomie. :P

*camps out on Shard's lawn*

Shard · Post by **Shard** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:38 pm

(must remember to actually put turf on small triangular space in front of mobile home which is currently covered with hard, sharp white rocks and small walking squares...)

Post by **Dray** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:15 am

I wonder if they'll allow plastic flamingos through customs or if they'll think that we crazy Canadians are up to some terrifying terrorist act involving a heckuva lot of pink. XD

Post by **StarFyre** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:10 am

I unno, pink is a new gang symbol according to paranoid american schools. http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/ ... test_x.htm (That's an old story, but the theme still holds true). I also remember there being a story about Hello Kitty being a gang symbol as well, though I can't find that one.

*pats Dray on the head* You crazy Canadians, always riling the good people up with your shenanigans. =P