[rant]Is it seriously that hard to understand...?

[StarFyre]

You all know that I've been having some... "problems".

Okay, more than problems -- I'm a walking disability case waiting to happen, as far as I'm concerned. I've come face to face with my own vulnerability in a way that shook me to my core -- hellfire, I couldn't take a shower on my own for almost a month after that, and I'm still a bit twitchy at times. I will actively choose to not take a shower if my neck hurts still, unless my fiance is in the room with me at all times.

Now, I'd already had most of the invincibility-shiny beaten out of me long ago, when my only grandfather started declining, and I got to watch as he started getting worse and worse. But losing control of my limbs was still a gut-shot. (And the fact that the best answer I've ever been given as to why that happened was that it was a combination of factors involving very low sodium levels, a viral infection that could possibly have been the flu (no one checked), and the existing spinal damage at C1 (the very first vertebra in the spine)... thanks... I think.)

I'm trying to graduate this semester, which unfortunately means that I need to take a 100 level course that I was told previously I didn't need to take. So I'm taking a "fluffy bunnies and rainbows" course. In my senior year.

I have no patience for this bull.

But fine, I'll deal with it.

Well, today, I walk into class a bit late, because I needed to ice my neck this morning because it was hurting. And as class went on, it started to hurt a bit more. At this point, I don't want to do anything but sit in one place and listen. I'm in pain, I don't want to move, is it that difficult to understand?

Well, apparently so, because we're going to do an activity, so everyone needs to move (girls on one side of the room, boys on the other). I'm on the correct side of the room, but not "close enough" to the rest of the girls (I'm about a desk-length behind the rest of them), so I get told to "move up". I grouch at her about not wanting to move because my neck hurts -- how does she respond? "Well, do some stretches then."

Thanks, but no thanks. Spinal misalignment isn't exactly fixed by stretching the muscles in my neck. At this point, what I need is not motion, but *stillness*, so I can properly relax the muscles. I had been part-way to finding that proper stillness to make the pain lessen when she basically ordered me to move. So I grouch at her, because, oh, hey, I'm in sudden *pain* again.

And after class, I basically bring it up to her that there are going to be days that I am not capable of doing much more than sitting and listening. And that the very fact I'm trying to actively show up at all when I'm in pain is me trying to learn how to cope with what's basically a crippling factor of my life. What does she tell me? That I should probably think about going to a chiropractor. Sorry, been doing that for the past half year. My chiropractor is the only reason I'm not curled up in a dark room, clutching my head in agony because of the constant headaches this was giving me before I started going.

So I ask her -- would you prefer I just not show up when I'm in physical pain from my neck?

"No," she says, "I'd like you to participate."

Okay -- see, that's not really possible when you're in this sort of pain.

"Well, I can't let you not participate. Other people might see that and say, 'well, she's not participating, why should I?'. I can't give preferential treatment to one person."

Okay. Fine. Whatever. At this point I just turn and walk away. I'm not getting through to her, and I can't see a way to counter anything she's saying -- she's so stuck in what she believes the world to be that I can't say anything to budge her opinion.

Here's my question, though, which I thought about as I was walking back to the Engineering building.

Is it really preferential treatment if you're making allowances for someone's - dare I say it? - disability?

Oh no. I said the magic word. Disability.

Yes, folks. I'm not wheel-chair bound. I'm not in crutches. I'm not suffering from any of a number of mental diseases. But guess what.

I am disabled.

I have a permanent spinal injury which causes severe pain that impairs my ability to function as a person, in both the social and physical arenas.

From the lovely and wonderful WHO:

Disabilities is an umbrella term, covering impairments, activity limitations, and participation restrictions. An impairment is a problem in body function or structure; an activity limitation is a difficulty encountered by an individual in executing a task or action; while a participation restriction is a problem experienced by an individual in involvement in life situations. Thus disability is a complex phenomenon, reflecting an interaction between features of a person’s body and features of the society in which he or she lives.

I don't know. It just seems to me that, simply because I don't go around waving the "I'm disabled! Treat me differently!" flag, and instead try to only bring it up when it's necessary, no one believes me when I do bring it up. (That, and I'm not wheelchair bound/on crutches/mentally disabled/don't have a health worker with me at all times.)

I don't know. I never thought I'd need to know the disability code as anything more than a "oh, right". Never thought that, at 22, the thought would even cross my mind. "Disabled" is what happens to other people, y'know? Not to someone who's never been in a car accident, gotten drunk, done extreme sports, etc.

But I have rode horses. And fallen off horses. Once at a full gallop. I guess at this point I should be glad the only thing that's wrong with me is a spinal injury that can be dealt with (albeit I will be visiting a chiropractor every month for the rest of my life) and that "bad things" can be mostly averted.

Sigh. I don't know. I hate self-righteous grad students.

[Shard]

what a twat. Seriously.

go to your chiro and get a note. I think that's about the level of idiocy that this instructor wants.

I've been in such pain before, though thankfully it was temporary. I had sciatic nerve pinch because of the chair I was using and my posture, and after a time I was unable to walk, sit, lay down or do anything because of the pain. But I was able to work through that and stretch and such, knowing that it wasn't "real" pain in my joints and rather was phantom pain.

Yours... is not phantom pain. seriously get a note. see what she does, and if she doesn't 'allow' it take it up with others at the campus. it's ridiculous that she would just try and be such a control freak like that.

[delyar]

Does your university have a disabilities center? I'm not sure if this is common elsewhere, but my university has a center you can go to basically be excused from certain parts of coursework (or get extra time for exams etc) due to a disability. I assume it involves some kind of doctoral/psychological assessment, but it might help.

For example, my roommate has horrible horrible migraines and managed to get permission to miss exams without a doctor's note as she literally cannot leave the room she's in when she has them. (So, while not typically 'disabled', they do prevent her from functioning at times, like your pain.)

It might be something to look into. Too bad your teacher was such a dick about it though. :(

[StarFyre]

Shard: This is honestly not the first issue I've had with this teacher, though it's the first one that I've brought up to her because it directly affects me.

In one of her slides, she states "video games have been shown in studies to cause depression" -- which I immediately rolled my eyes at and mentally went "and the degeneration of society, increase in violence, socially unadjusted children, the bush eras, war, and world hunger." So I did a bit of looking -- turns out she's missing two critical little words in that sentence: Addiction and to.

Y'know, like pretty much every other addiction known to man, not having the substance/item/activity that one is addicted to causes depression. Oops. That puts a whole new spin on that sentence, turning it from "omg games bad" to "uh, we've found that people are becoming addicted to these things, which is bad".

I fully intend on asking my chiropractor for a note basically saying something along the lines of "patient is under doctor's care for spinal misalignment that causes headaches and neck pain that impairs patient's ability to function in a social setting." Y'know, stuff like that. He's already offered to give me one last semester, but all my teachers were pretty cool with me just going "I have x issue, these are the details of it, this is who I see for it, and occasionally I won't be in class because of it. Kay?"

Delyar: Yep, we've got a disability center, and I can very easily get a note from them, so long as I have some sort of documentation of evidence (such as a note from a chiropractor). Know how I know that? Because one of my friends is ex-military, who left because of disability. Like me, he can walk, care for himself, and generally looks like a regular person (albeit about 6'6" of ex-army-blackhawk-mechanic, but still =P ). He has a spinal problem that's a bit different from mine -- instead of a vertebra being out of alignment (and a small host of other minor alignment issues stemming from that), one of his disks in the middle of his back is swollen, and puts constant pressure on the nerves, which causes him pain if he sits for long periods of time.

It wasn't an issue for him until this semester, when one of his teachers tried to insist that he isn't disabled, thus can't sit at the disabled-people table instead of sitting in the too-small-too-cramped-for-a-man-of-his-size auditorium seats. So, he went to disability, got a note, and sat at the table =P

But yeah, basically all that it requires to get some sort of note is some paperwork acknowledging that there is a specific issue that can cause difficulties for the person at times. But, I'm going to try to be polite about this, first -- get the note from my chiropractor and show it to her, if she still insists that she can't "show me preferential treatment", then I'll invoke an authority not only higher than her but actually in her chain of command.

I'm really going to have to bite my tongue on the comment that's been bouncing through my head these past couple hours: "If you think people are slacking off because of me, tell them that they can slack off after they've experienced full paralysis of the limbs, are rushed to the ER, are told there's 'nothing wrong' with them despite having just experienced what it's like to have absolutely no control of their limbs, and are sent home with over the counter tylenol and a bill for about $300."

That comment won't go over well. I must resist the urge to say it to her.

I mean, I don't mean to harp on that experience, but holy mother of us all that was terrifying. And it could happen again. (though I've been assured by people more competent than the ER doctor that saw me that it's highly unlikely it will happen again, so long as I keep my sodium levels up and try not to replicate that exact set of circumstances.. which means that next time I get sick, I'm going to be positively terrified of taking a shower, ohgods..)

[StarFyre]

A bit more research later, though this doesn't particularly affect me at the moment because I'm not going to court or anything silly like that, and also because I'm not trying to ask for anything more than a bit of understanding that I will, on occasion be incapable of doing anything more than listening, because I'm in pain.

Apparently, until the ADA amendment in 2008, I wouldn't have fallen under ADA's ruling, because my symptoms are mostly in control due to medical mediation.

But the amendment specifically states that any disability must be evaluated based upon the disability in its active and untreated state. Which, for me, would be near constant neck and head pain that would render me incapable of doing anything. Probably leading to full body paralysis in time. Ohjoy. Seeing as it IS the first vertebra in my spine that's exerting the pressure on the nerves.

So, I'm apparently more disabled than I thought 0.o;; at least legally. Snerk.

[Shard]

heheh woo hoo

I wonder how many people would use that for having a gallon of coffee every day, "if I don't control my sleep functions with this, I can't work!"

[StarFyre]

*Laughs!*

Well, technically it has to be a physical or mental issue that causes the problems, but there is a third "is perceived as" category...

.. nah, I don't want to try and figure out how people might game the system with this law =P

Also, it has to affect one or more of the major life activities or bodily functions as listed in the amendment (these activities/functions were enumerated because the courts were using a very restrictive list of what qualified, previously).

Lifting this from wikipedia, because I don't feel like wading through legalese at the moment:

"The non-exhaustive list of major life activities in § 4(4)(a) includes caring for oneself, performing manual tasks, seeing, hearing, eating, sleeping, walking, standing, lifting, bending, speaking, breathing, learning, reading, concentrating, thinking, communicating and working. The act also lists major bodily functions including, but not limited to, functions of the immune system, normal cell growth, digestive, bowel, bladder, neurological, brain, respiratory, circulatory, endocrine and reproductive functions.[12] so there can be no ambiguity."

Hey, they including concentrating and thinking! whoot! ... =P

[Guest]

I say hell yes go over this prof's head -- what a jerk! Does she fully understand the extent of your injury, or does she just think she knows better than you do about how to handle it? Reading what you wrote about your interaction with her really makes me believe she's already had more than enough chances to "do it the easy way" and chosen to be a butt-head.

I've run into one or two people like that in my life. They have a little authority and think that everyone under them is trying to undermine it. All this says to me about her is that she's a control freak.

Sorry to sound harsh. Your story really worked me up!

[Midori]

I hate stupid people. Your teacher is a good example of stupid person who can't look beyond what they want to. Why does this world have so many stupid people in power because it really seems they're way to many.

Good luck SF!

I vote to just go over your teachers head too. It sounds like they need something breathing down their neck because of their issues. It might teach them something.