Alternative Styles
Moderators: Mystic Dragon, Xalia, Shard
Alternative Styles
Some of the regulars on this board who have known me for awhile know that I am usually not one to fit the "corporate image".
Last December, when I was hired as a waitress at Steak n Shake [hey, in this economy, you take what you can get, and I generally make 14-16$ an hour, so no complaints here] I was hired with visible tattoos [stars on the webbing of my left hand, music notes around the middle finger of my left hand, and a star/swirl design on my right forearm] as well have 1/2 inch gauges in my ears, 5 holes in each ear, a tongue ring, and a septum ring. They did ask that I take my snake bites out, and turn my septum ring up in my nose. I also had a dreadhawk [a dreaded mohawk, for anyone not familiar]
Generally, my job has been pretty lenient. On days where they think we're going to have corporate people coming in, or inspections, the managers will go around asking people to stick out their tongues, and take out tongue rings/extra piercings. For me, they'll ask that I cover my forearm with an ace bandage, as the handbook does in fact say that visible tattoos should not be visible. For awhile, they would ask that I cover the ones on my left hand with band-aids, but enough customers eventually complained that they would rather see star and music note tattoos than think I had wounds on my hand, serving them food.
It was a few months ago, when the handbook was changed to include "no extreme hair colors, hair color combination, or styles".
At the time, I had my black dreadhawk, and bleach blonde bangs. I always wore my dreads pulled back into a pony tail or bun, and I was always very aware of my hygiene and the way I presented myself. I was told I needed to dye my hair all one color, and remove the dreads, as both were "too extreme". I did as told, with no complaints, as I support myself and therefore getting fired from a job for how I look would note bode well.
But then a few of my customers brought up a good point. They were black customers, mind you, but when they asked about where my dreads had gone, and i told them of the new policy, their reply was simple, "Would they have made you take your dreads out if you were black?"
And that got me to thinking. So a few days ago, I took it to my managers. I simply told them that I missed my hairstyle, and that I wished to put my dreads back in. My general manager once again told me that the style was too extreme. So I looked him straight in the face and I asked, "Would you tell me that if I was black?"
He got really quiet, and then walked away. I asked the same thing of my other two managers. Same result. Once I brought up the race card, they had no response.
I work very hard for the store. Actually, if I was to take the way I work to corporate, my job could actually get in trouble. In addition to waiting tables, I also run drive-thru when it gets slammed [I'm often walking around the floor with a headset on, taking two orders at once], doing dishes in the back, running the cash counter, running the front floor as shift lead, and working the back line preparing food/milk shakes. And I do all this while getting 2.13$ an hour. Of all the servers, I am ranked #2, in terms of compliments/complaints, and the amount of tips I bring in.
No matter the style of my hair, whether I have my tattoos showing or not, or whether I have all my piercings in, my tips never seem to suffer. Through the serving experience, my customers seem to be able to look past the alternative look, and realize that I am kind, and a hard worker.
So now that you have read through this long ass introduction, I introduce the real questions of this post.
1] To you, as a customer, what is your take on the looks/style of your server? Does it affect the way you tip/your experience at the restaurant? Are you offended if your server has visible tattoos of the generic nature?
and
2] Should I go ahead, and return to having my black dreadhawk, and take the matter to corporate if I am again told it is too extreme of a hairstyle, seeing as the handbook does not expressly forbid mohawks, nor dreads, and pull out the race card if need be? Or is it time for me to grow up, accept that the general population is not ready to accept those who enjoy expressing who they are, and conform myself to fit the corporate image?
I ask simply because I'm so used to being who I am... it was hard enough to go to having black hair, instead of my purple/pink/blonde combination, and to have to remove most of my piercings... I often feel like I'm stuck in a bad Halloween costume.
If a person can and does prove their ability as a worker, and that their personality is not one of some drug-addicted, gang-related, juvenile delinquent status, should it really matter what they look like? If they are willing to go the distance to prove themselves to you, then shouldn't they be allowed to deal with the negativity that their looks can often bring on their own?
I've been with the company for almost a year now, and not once have I gotten a single complaint. I get nothing but compliments from customers, and have even had my customers cuss out one of my managers when they overheard him chewing me out for "not doing enough for the store", and the customers were regulars who have seen me jumping from station to station time and time again.
But I keep on rambling, so I'll just hit the submit button now and await some outside opinions. And I apologize for the length of the post, this is something that has bothered me for quite some time.
Last December, when I was hired as a waitress at Steak n Shake [hey, in this economy, you take what you can get, and I generally make 14-16$ an hour, so no complaints here] I was hired with visible tattoos [stars on the webbing of my left hand, music notes around the middle finger of my left hand, and a star/swirl design on my right forearm] as well have 1/2 inch gauges in my ears, 5 holes in each ear, a tongue ring, and a septum ring. They did ask that I take my snake bites out, and turn my septum ring up in my nose. I also had a dreadhawk [a dreaded mohawk, for anyone not familiar]
Generally, my job has been pretty lenient. On days where they think we're going to have corporate people coming in, or inspections, the managers will go around asking people to stick out their tongues, and take out tongue rings/extra piercings. For me, they'll ask that I cover my forearm with an ace bandage, as the handbook does in fact say that visible tattoos should not be visible. For awhile, they would ask that I cover the ones on my left hand with band-aids, but enough customers eventually complained that they would rather see star and music note tattoos than think I had wounds on my hand, serving them food.
It was a few months ago, when the handbook was changed to include "no extreme hair colors, hair color combination, or styles".
At the time, I had my black dreadhawk, and bleach blonde bangs. I always wore my dreads pulled back into a pony tail or bun, and I was always very aware of my hygiene and the way I presented myself. I was told I needed to dye my hair all one color, and remove the dreads, as both were "too extreme". I did as told, with no complaints, as I support myself and therefore getting fired from a job for how I look would note bode well.
But then a few of my customers brought up a good point. They were black customers, mind you, but when they asked about where my dreads had gone, and i told them of the new policy, their reply was simple, "Would they have made you take your dreads out if you were black?"
And that got me to thinking. So a few days ago, I took it to my managers. I simply told them that I missed my hairstyle, and that I wished to put my dreads back in. My general manager once again told me that the style was too extreme. So I looked him straight in the face and I asked, "Would you tell me that if I was black?"
He got really quiet, and then walked away. I asked the same thing of my other two managers. Same result. Once I brought up the race card, they had no response.
I work very hard for the store. Actually, if I was to take the way I work to corporate, my job could actually get in trouble. In addition to waiting tables, I also run drive-thru when it gets slammed [I'm often walking around the floor with a headset on, taking two orders at once], doing dishes in the back, running the cash counter, running the front floor as shift lead, and working the back line preparing food/milk shakes. And I do all this while getting 2.13$ an hour. Of all the servers, I am ranked #2, in terms of compliments/complaints, and the amount of tips I bring in.
No matter the style of my hair, whether I have my tattoos showing or not, or whether I have all my piercings in, my tips never seem to suffer. Through the serving experience, my customers seem to be able to look past the alternative look, and realize that I am kind, and a hard worker.
So now that you have read through this long ass introduction, I introduce the real questions of this post.
1] To you, as a customer, what is your take on the looks/style of your server? Does it affect the way you tip/your experience at the restaurant? Are you offended if your server has visible tattoos of the generic nature?
and
2] Should I go ahead, and return to having my black dreadhawk, and take the matter to corporate if I am again told it is too extreme of a hairstyle, seeing as the handbook does not expressly forbid mohawks, nor dreads, and pull out the race card if need be? Or is it time for me to grow up, accept that the general population is not ready to accept those who enjoy expressing who they are, and conform myself to fit the corporate image?
I ask simply because I'm so used to being who I am... it was hard enough to go to having black hair, instead of my purple/pink/blonde combination, and to have to remove most of my piercings... I often feel like I'm stuck in a bad Halloween costume.
If a person can and does prove their ability as a worker, and that their personality is not one of some drug-addicted, gang-related, juvenile delinquent status, should it really matter what they look like? If they are willing to go the distance to prove themselves to you, then shouldn't they be allowed to deal with the negativity that their looks can often bring on their own?
I've been with the company for almost a year now, and not once have I gotten a single complaint. I get nothing but compliments from customers, and have even had my customers cuss out one of my managers when they overheard him chewing me out for "not doing enough for the store", and the customers were regulars who have seen me jumping from station to station time and time again.
But I keep on rambling, so I'll just hit the submit button now and await some outside opinions. And I apologize for the length of the post, this is something that has bothered me for quite some time.
I'm all for the fact that people should be allowed to look the way they want to as they go about their own lifestyle, regardless of others' opinions. I cringe every time I see someone with piercings and gauges and all that, but that's what they want to wear, so I bite my tongue and try not to look too squicked out. ;)
However, once you are under the employ of another person/business, I believe it is entirely reasonable for that employer to request its employees adhere to whatever the established dress code is. Having an "extreme" look in a "not extreme" business has nothing to do with it -- I'd say the same thing if someone was, say, working at a rave club sort of thing and the employers didn't want their employees in formal business wear.
However, once you are under the employ of another person/business, I believe it is entirely reasonable for that employer to request its employees adhere to whatever the established dress code is. Having an "extreme" look in a "not extreme" business has nothing to do with it -- I'd say the same thing if someone was, say, working at a rave club sort of thing and the employers didn't want their employees in formal business wear.
Since I have plenty of tattoos, though no piercings and such, I would say that you might want to actually take it up with a lawyer. That race thing is extremely important. People at a fast food restaurant know they're being served by whoever can do the job - they're not being waited at a 5-star (no offense) OR getting someone who looks like they just crawled out of a dumpster (as I've seen plenty of your pictures when you post them and I can say you look stunning, not dirty).
I don't think I'd push it directly with your superiors, until you get some advice from a higher source. I think if you had photos of you in your typical work gear and environment, as well as (if you can get it) written compliments about you by the customers, and send those to the coroporate hq they may see the wisdom in changing with the times.
I do agree that it's up to the employer, but I think, having been involved in retail more than half my life, and been working for a more progressive audience, that the employer *keep up* with what's going on around them.
Also, changing their stance on something *after* hiring is pretty lame. I can understand their side if, say, you were 'grandfathered' in with "wild" looks, and you do a great job - but then someone else comes on saying "well she breaks the rules why can't I" - because it's up to them to *do as well as anyone else* to prove it's not about their hair or tats.
But obviously, you were good enough to hire and good enough to maintain a high standard of work, and that really should be enough to work with on a higher corporate level. But definitely, I would suggest finding a laywer who deals with discrimination and ask if they have a free consult. It really does sound like a serious discrimination case waiting to happen.
Hell you should try and find a black guy with dreds to work, and see how quickly that changes things...
I don't think I'd push it directly with your superiors, until you get some advice from a higher source. I think if you had photos of you in your typical work gear and environment, as well as (if you can get it) written compliments about you by the customers, and send those to the coroporate hq they may see the wisdom in changing with the times.
I do agree that it's up to the employer, but I think, having been involved in retail more than half my life, and been working for a more progressive audience, that the employer *keep up* with what's going on around them.
Also, changing their stance on something *after* hiring is pretty lame. I can understand their side if, say, you were 'grandfathered' in with "wild" looks, and you do a great job - but then someone else comes on saying "well she breaks the rules why can't I" - because it's up to them to *do as well as anyone else* to prove it's not about their hair or tats.
But obviously, you were good enough to hire and good enough to maintain a high standard of work, and that really should be enough to work with on a higher corporate level. But definitely, I would suggest finding a laywer who deals with discrimination and ask if they have a free consult. It really does sound like a serious discrimination case waiting to happen.
Hell you should try and find a black guy with dreds to work, and see how quickly that changes things...
Author of Repurposed
kshau-protectorate.com
kshau-protectorate.com
Well, I have several points for you. I'll go through your questions.
1.The look and style of my server greatly affects how I tip them, as well as their “dedication” to serving me – the customer. If they are clean-cut, well put together and looks professional I am far more likely to tip them because they look like they have embraced the image the company is trying to portray to it's customers. A server who is doing ten million other things and not focused on each customer is a server customers get frustrated with very quickly and it isn't fair to ask a customer to play second fiddle to the server's “other” priorities. Customers are repeat customers because they feel important, wanted, and valued.
2.No, you shouldn't unless you want to get yourself labeled as a trouble maker. The uniform standard wasn't set by your restaurant it was set by the corporate offices. If your managers had to go around asking staff to alter their appearances when corporate typed people were coming, obviously your restaurant was not following the rules that Corporate did not think had to be out lined out of common sense. A business is first and fore-most a business. To be profitable, you have to present a well put together, unified look amongst the staff which is where uniforms and personal look standards come into play. If handbooks expressly forbid every foreseeable kind of extreme hair style the list could go on forever.
In terms of the race card, I think it was a pretty extreme and trouble-making move. Racism should never be brought up in a hypothetical situation because there is no way to back it up, no way to prove it. It becomes a “he said” “she said” situation that is both childish and could potentially cost you your job. Were there a black person already working there with dreads and they received a different treatment than yourself, then it would be acceptable to say “but he/she is allowed, why aren't I?”, then it is racisim. If there is no founded situation, no basis for your “If I were Black ...” then it just makes you look antagonistic and they'll be waiting for you to go against the handbook which could result in disciplinary action.
As for going to Corporate, why would you when they were the ones who issued the Handbook and probably wrote it from experience in their restaurants.
1.The look and style of my server greatly affects how I tip them, as well as their “dedication” to serving me – the customer. If they are clean-cut, well put together and looks professional I am far more likely to tip them because they look like they have embraced the image the company is trying to portray to it's customers. A server who is doing ten million other things and not focused on each customer is a server customers get frustrated with very quickly and it isn't fair to ask a customer to play second fiddle to the server's “other” priorities. Customers are repeat customers because they feel important, wanted, and valued.
2.No, you shouldn't unless you want to get yourself labeled as a trouble maker. The uniform standard wasn't set by your restaurant it was set by the corporate offices. If your managers had to go around asking staff to alter their appearances when corporate typed people were coming, obviously your restaurant was not following the rules that Corporate did not think had to be out lined out of common sense. A business is first and fore-most a business. To be profitable, you have to present a well put together, unified look amongst the staff which is where uniforms and personal look standards come into play. If handbooks expressly forbid every foreseeable kind of extreme hair style the list could go on forever.
In terms of the race card, I think it was a pretty extreme and trouble-making move. Racism should never be brought up in a hypothetical situation because there is no way to back it up, no way to prove it. It becomes a “he said” “she said” situation that is both childish and could potentially cost you your job. Were there a black person already working there with dreads and they received a different treatment than yourself, then it would be acceptable to say “but he/she is allowed, why aren't I?”, then it is racisim. If there is no founded situation, no basis for your “If I were Black ...” then it just makes you look antagonistic and they'll be waiting for you to go against the handbook which could result in disciplinary action.
As for going to Corporate, why would you when they were the ones who issued the Handbook and probably wrote it from experience in their restaurants.
Thank you Shard :] That's what I was thinking of looking into.
And Maerwynn, here's a few more points for you. We did have a black guy working for us with dreads, who was never told to remove his, and later ended up quitting because he found a better job. We currently have a black male working as a server who has a mohawk and they never once told him to grow his out. This is why I feel partially discriminated against, because I am a white female and was told to remove both.
And my customers are my main concern. They never have to wait for refills, never have to wait for food. We have a very strict policy. Greet the table within 60 seconds of them being seated, have their food out within 8 minutes of being ordered. As a matter of fact, my customers rarely have to ask me for anything, as I've been working there long enough to anticipate a customer's needs. I'm not trying to brag, but I am one of those servers capable of taking down an entire table's order without writing any of it down, and have the whole order come out correct, down to the extra sauces/etc that they ask for that you can't specifically ring up. I am always trying to be the best at what I do. And if it wasn't for the fact that I was jumping on the back line to speed up this process, we would have customers waiting longer than that to receive their food/get their order taken. Our complaints have dropped 70% since I started running day shift there. Our sales have gone up 40%. Our store is ranked 3rd in the entire country, and 1st in the entire district.
I am very "clean cut", despite my alternative choices. I don't have a very good picture of my black dreads, but this is what I looked like with my blonde dreads --
Mine are not the huge, clumpy, mess of crap you see on some people who simply don't care about their appearance. Mine are well taken care of, uniform in size, and very "clean".
I get customers who return because of me. Who request my section specifically, because they know the quality of service they will get. While most servers generally get 15% of their table's check in tips, my tables usually tip me 30% or greater. I'll have tables who will have a $15 bill [it's a fast food chain, and so generally, a meal is only 7$ or so] and I will get a 5-7$ tip. One of my regulars in particular, who always orders the exact same thing, and who's bill is always around 12$, leaves me a 20$ bill every time he leaves the store, because as soon as he walks in, I have his drink ready for him and his order already put in. So on some tables, I make 100% or more of the tip.
I drive 40 miles to my job, despite the fact that there are 3 closer locations, because my manager will not authorize a transfer; he says the store cannot afford to lose me. And since I was hired with my dreads, and the rulebook does not expressly forbid them, that is why I feel the way I do. Most people are under the impression that dreads are dirty, that they smell, etc. But anyone with true knowledge knows that you are capable of washing your dreads daily, as long as it's an unscented, uncolored, PH balanced shampoo. Dreads are more high maintenance than any normal hair style, when it all comes down to it.
Most of the time, I actually enjoy proving myself against people, proving that I am more than what I appear to be. it gives me a sense of satisfaction in a way. And yes, when it comes to a job, you are expected to look as the owner/corporation wants you to. But if they had said all of this to me on the day I was hired, and followed thru with this with all of their employees, then I would completely understand.
But they didn't.
Plus, and just throwing that out there, we'll get customers who will complain of hair in their food. I've never had this personally, and when you have dreads, it is virtually impossible to lose hair - where is it going to go? It's already tangled into another mass of hair. So, technically, mine is less of health hazard than someone with loose hair.
And Maerwynn, here's a few more points for you. We did have a black guy working for us with dreads, who was never told to remove his, and later ended up quitting because he found a better job. We currently have a black male working as a server who has a mohawk and they never once told him to grow his out. This is why I feel partially discriminated against, because I am a white female and was told to remove both.
And my customers are my main concern. They never have to wait for refills, never have to wait for food. We have a very strict policy. Greet the table within 60 seconds of them being seated, have their food out within 8 minutes of being ordered. As a matter of fact, my customers rarely have to ask me for anything, as I've been working there long enough to anticipate a customer's needs. I'm not trying to brag, but I am one of those servers capable of taking down an entire table's order without writing any of it down, and have the whole order come out correct, down to the extra sauces/etc that they ask for that you can't specifically ring up. I am always trying to be the best at what I do. And if it wasn't for the fact that I was jumping on the back line to speed up this process, we would have customers waiting longer than that to receive their food/get their order taken. Our complaints have dropped 70% since I started running day shift there. Our sales have gone up 40%. Our store is ranked 3rd in the entire country, and 1st in the entire district.
I am very "clean cut", despite my alternative choices. I don't have a very good picture of my black dreads, but this is what I looked like with my blonde dreads --
Mine are not the huge, clumpy, mess of crap you see on some people who simply don't care about their appearance. Mine are well taken care of, uniform in size, and very "clean".
I get customers who return because of me. Who request my section specifically, because they know the quality of service they will get. While most servers generally get 15% of their table's check in tips, my tables usually tip me 30% or greater. I'll have tables who will have a $15 bill [it's a fast food chain, and so generally, a meal is only 7$ or so] and I will get a 5-7$ tip. One of my regulars in particular, who always orders the exact same thing, and who's bill is always around 12$, leaves me a 20$ bill every time he leaves the store, because as soon as he walks in, I have his drink ready for him and his order already put in. So on some tables, I make 100% or more of the tip.
I drive 40 miles to my job, despite the fact that there are 3 closer locations, because my manager will not authorize a transfer; he says the store cannot afford to lose me. And since I was hired with my dreads, and the rulebook does not expressly forbid them, that is why I feel the way I do. Most people are under the impression that dreads are dirty, that they smell, etc. But anyone with true knowledge knows that you are capable of washing your dreads daily, as long as it's an unscented, uncolored, PH balanced shampoo. Dreads are more high maintenance than any normal hair style, when it all comes down to it.
Most of the time, I actually enjoy proving myself against people, proving that I am more than what I appear to be. it gives me a sense of satisfaction in a way. And yes, when it comes to a job, you are expected to look as the owner/corporation wants you to. But if they had said all of this to me on the day I was hired, and followed thru with this with all of their employees, then I would completely understand.
But they didn't.
Plus, and just throwing that out there, we'll get customers who will complain of hair in their food. I've never had this personally, and when you have dreads, it is virtually impossible to lose hair - where is it going to go? It's already tangled into another mass of hair. So, technically, mine is less of health hazard than someone with loose hair.
Me, personally? I don't have much of an issue with how someone looks, as long as they're clean. But I'm also an extremely liberal, easy-going person. My father would care. My grandmother probably wouldn't tip you at all, JUST for having visible piercings and tattoos.
And I am sorry, but if the company has a dress code, the dress code should be followed. It's not the restaurant's fault that corporate is actually making them enforce the dress code. At my company, we pretty much had no dress code... until we were bought by another company. They weren't going to let people come to work in sweat pants, like they used to, because the new company owners-- corporate office-- had a new dress code that they want people to follow. Just because someone was hired under the old dress code doesn't mean they are exempt from following the new one. If you work there and the rules change, you have to follow the new rules.
It's stupid, but it's the rules.
However, I do think that if one person is asked to remove the dreds, everyone should, regardless of race That part's dumb. I don't know that fighting it will do you ANY good, though =/ The easier option for corporate than dealing with a troublesome employee would be to simply find another employee, because yes, that is the problem with letting one person bend the rules: other people will start saying "that person isn't following the rules, why do *I* have to follow them?"
And I doubt corporate office cares how hard you work or how much your customers like you. They probably don't even think the success of your particular branch has anything to do with one employee in particular-- if anything, they'll congratulate the managers, assuming it was them. You could be the most awesome employee ever, and you could still get fired for being a troublemaker.
/cynical
Can you tell I don't much like corporate offices? Ours has been interfering in our company a lot lately, but there's not much we can do about it.
And I am sorry, but if the company has a dress code, the dress code should be followed. It's not the restaurant's fault that corporate is actually making them enforce the dress code. At my company, we pretty much had no dress code... until we were bought by another company. They weren't going to let people come to work in sweat pants, like they used to, because the new company owners-- corporate office-- had a new dress code that they want people to follow. Just because someone was hired under the old dress code doesn't mean they are exempt from following the new one. If you work there and the rules change, you have to follow the new rules.
It's stupid, but it's the rules.
However, I do think that if one person is asked to remove the dreds, everyone should, regardless of race That part's dumb. I don't know that fighting it will do you ANY good, though =/ The easier option for corporate than dealing with a troublesome employee would be to simply find another employee, because yes, that is the problem with letting one person bend the rules: other people will start saying "that person isn't following the rules, why do *I* have to follow them?"
And I doubt corporate office cares how hard you work or how much your customers like you. They probably don't even think the success of your particular branch has anything to do with one employee in particular-- if anything, they'll congratulate the managers, assuming it was them. You could be the most awesome employee ever, and you could still get fired for being a troublemaker.
/cynical
Can you tell I don't much like corporate offices? Ours has been interfering in our company a lot lately, but there's not much we can do about it.
The stupidest smart person you ever met.
Server attitude more than anything is what affects the way I tip, or regard coming back. Appearance has nothing to do with it for me; what catches my eye first is how long it takes to have an order taken (given I've come into an near empty restaurant before, been noticed by the waitress and had to wait another ten minutes before the menus even went out. XP) if the server seems distracted or glowery or just otherwise with an attitude that says, "I don't want to be here/I wish you would go away"... being relatively poor I give a 15% tip pretty much everywhere and no tip to the servers that are exceptionally ass-hat-ish. (>_> And then I never go back to the restaurant again without saying another word, because I'm weird like that.)
But appearance, not my hangup.
I would say, find a way to boot the manager out and become one yourself so that you get the congrats... but that would probably wind up meaning you have even more on your plate. XD
In the meantime, I would say, follow the rules, look for another job that allows you to look more like you and not some faceless suit, and then quit if you manage to find something that, er, suits. As much as it's glorious to have regulars who leave great tips and customers who are wonderful, if you feel like it's coming to a point where it's not worth the flack from the higher ups, then it's probably time to find something new.
As far as race, I vehemently disagree with Maerwynn: tucking issues of racism (or sexism any other ism) under the rug so that nobody has to worry about them will never lead to change. That's the way that corporate wants it (hence the failing to answer your question; nobody wants to be responsible for something that sounds like it may be racist) and it's, unfortunately, the mindset that the majority holds fast to. Making people aware that they're doing something that, hey, is discrimination, is extremely important for minorities in the seriously uphill battle to gain rights. However, like everyone else has been saying, if you're more intent on holding your job, you may want to obey the status quo for now. The slow inching of alternative appearances into the mainstream may mean that one day dreads will be fine in the workplace (I know that at my last work place, people were allowed to wear eyebrow rings... but everyone and their dog has eyebrow rings nowadays. XD) so don't give up hope...
Just need to make the decision that if what's been troubling you is something you can set aside, find a proactive, productive way to address that.
(And I think that we shouldn't be trapped in the fifties for any reason, least of all the ideal of faceless restaurant goonies.) Shard sounds like she has some good advice. Don't act without first gathering evidence and getting proper legal advice... working the system over seems to have a more lasting effect than butting heads with it on your own!
But appearance, not my hangup.
I would say, find a way to boot the manager out and become one yourself so that you get the congrats... but that would probably wind up meaning you have even more on your plate. XD
In the meantime, I would say, follow the rules, look for another job that allows you to look more like you and not some faceless suit, and then quit if you manage to find something that, er, suits. As much as it's glorious to have regulars who leave great tips and customers who are wonderful, if you feel like it's coming to a point where it's not worth the flack from the higher ups, then it's probably time to find something new.
As far as race, I vehemently disagree with Maerwynn: tucking issues of racism (or sexism any other ism) under the rug so that nobody has to worry about them will never lead to change. That's the way that corporate wants it (hence the failing to answer your question; nobody wants to be responsible for something that sounds like it may be racist) and it's, unfortunately, the mindset that the majority holds fast to. Making people aware that they're doing something that, hey, is discrimination, is extremely important for minorities in the seriously uphill battle to gain rights. However, like everyone else has been saying, if you're more intent on holding your job, you may want to obey the status quo for now. The slow inching of alternative appearances into the mainstream may mean that one day dreads will be fine in the workplace (I know that at my last work place, people were allowed to wear eyebrow rings... but everyone and their dog has eyebrow rings nowadays. XD) so don't give up hope...
Just need to make the decision that if what's been troubling you is something you can set aside, find a proactive, productive way to address that.
(And I think that we shouldn't be trapped in the fifties for any reason, least of all the ideal of faceless restaurant goonies.) Shard sounds like she has some good advice. Don't act without first gathering evidence and getting proper legal advice... working the system over seems to have a more lasting effect than butting heads with it on your own!
If there's a "corporate hq"... how many restaurants ARE there in this chain? because gathering the right amount of evidence would be very, very condemning in, say, a class-action suit... Just sayin'.
Author of Repurposed
kshau-protectorate.com
kshau-protectorate.com
Maybe this has been said already, but I wouldn't lawyer up over a hairstyle. I know this will come off wrong, and I apologize if I offend, but I feel I should be honest since an honest opinion was asked for in this forum and say that the things I think would be legitimate reasons to want to make a lawsuit over would be sexual harassment, unlawful termination, and similar. The amount of money you are going to spend going to trial with a corporation, no matter how big, will never be justified unless you are looking for a monetary settlement. Not to mention the time it will take, possibly years, to reach any verdict. My grandparents took a case to trial over a guy leasing land from them that stopped paying, and it took almost a year to conclude, resulting in a court order for the guy to be off the premises and thousands of dollars in legal fees lost by my grandparents during that time.
In the end, I think pulling the race card over dreadlocks is just going to force the company to make black people get rid of theirs, to make everything equal, not give you the right to have yours back. In every corporate environment I have ever worked in, this has been the case.
Well, that's really all I can say. I know most people on this forum are saying the opposite, but I really hope you don't actually go to court over this.
In the end, I think pulling the race card over dreadlocks is just going to force the company to make black people get rid of theirs, to make everything equal, not give you the right to have yours back. In every corporate environment I have ever worked in, this has been the case.
Well, that's really all I can say. I know most people on this forum are saying the opposite, but I really hope you don't actually go to court over this.
I wouldn't quite take it that far haha, I am a waitress after all, so legal fees is not something my pocket can cover. But just some advice, you know, presenting the handbook and what it specifically says, and having that interpreted... That's more what I was looking for.
Our district manager had been into the store multiple times while I had my dreads, and as long as I had them tied back, it wasn't an issue. It was when I went from the all blonde, to mostly black with blonde bangs that anything was said.
It's nice to hear, though, that most people await to see the service they get than go by appearances alone.
I've debated on bleaching my hair again, and returning to the blonde dreads, since those were the ones nothing was ever said about, and seeing what becomes of that. And I've been filling out applications every where, and following up on them, but most people just aren't hiring right now.
I actually went through 3 interviews with Chick-Fil-A, only to be told at the third interview, "Sorry for wasting your time, but your gauges are too big."
Couldn't they have said that at the first interview? Or when I came back to check on my application? Or when I turned my application in? Because every time I went in there, my hair was pulled back, seeing as it's a food service job. And I don't blame them for not hiring me for that reason, as they are a highly Christian company and so yeah, my look is not the one they're going for, but I didn't appreciate having my time wasted over an issue so little as the size of the holes in my ears.
I suppose that for now, I'll just bite my tongue about it, and keep working.
Our district manager had been into the store multiple times while I had my dreads, and as long as I had them tied back, it wasn't an issue. It was when I went from the all blonde, to mostly black with blonde bangs that anything was said.
It's nice to hear, though, that most people await to see the service they get than go by appearances alone.
I've debated on bleaching my hair again, and returning to the blonde dreads, since those were the ones nothing was ever said about, and seeing what becomes of that. And I've been filling out applications every where, and following up on them, but most people just aren't hiring right now.
I actually went through 3 interviews with Chick-Fil-A, only to be told at the third interview, "Sorry for wasting your time, but your gauges are too big."
Couldn't they have said that at the first interview? Or when I came back to check on my application? Or when I turned my application in? Because every time I went in there, my hair was pulled back, seeing as it's a food service job. And I don't blame them for not hiring me for that reason, as they are a highly Christian company and so yeah, my look is not the one they're going for, but I didn't appreciate having my time wasted over an issue so little as the size of the holes in my ears.
I suppose that for now, I'll just bite my tongue about it, and keep working.
Ooh, I gotcha. I probably read that wrong then, and so yeah, that could be helpful. And truly, besides feeling like it wouldn't be worth suing over, I do sympathize with your situation! I'm sure it absolutely blows when you have to make lifestyle choices like appearance based on jobs you might not necessarily intend to keep forever. :/ When I was in High school I was gothy (okay, more like glitter goth, but...) and when I worked in the theater department the stage manager made me redye my hair (then black and cherry red) because it was distracting when I was working backstage. I basically grouched but did it, and in your case, though it sucks, I would probably do the same if it were me and lose the dreadlocks. Even if only because corporate battles are maddening and rarely fruitful, and sadly, even if you were hired with them, these companies change their policies all the time and will likely continue to do so.
Of course, if getting a different job is possible, that might be a better route to take. And if so, good luck!! I've been trying for a while now to get a second job, but it just isn't happening at the moment.
PS: That picture is gorgeous. I'm completely jealous. You've got a great style and it really works for you!
Of course, if getting a different job is possible, that might be a better route to take. And if so, good luck!! I've been trying for a while now to get a second job, but it just isn't happening at the moment.
PS: That picture is gorgeous. I'm completely jealous. You've got a great style and it really works for you!
Doesn't she though? It totally pisses me off that people would be picky about the color of hair, or whatever. Meh, I haven't worked a big corp, so I can't really say more.erinnyes wrote:
PS: That picture is gorgeous. I'm completely jealous. You've got a great style and it really works for you!
Author of Repurposed
kshau-protectorate.com
kshau-protectorate.com
You may be able to get away with normal-looking dreads like the blonde OR the funky coloured hair, but not both at once.
I don't really use appearance to tip. If the service is fine, then they get my usual tip amount. If it's bad, then it goes down. If it's exceptional, it goes up. But I rarely move it from the basic % that I usually do. That said, up here in government town I cannot remember the last time I had a server that wasn't a proper drone.
I do understand where you're coming from - it's extremely frustrating to have to conform to the mold. I had to go from pink hair to my natural colour (with some coloured extensions tucked behind my ears) and even had to grow it out as the big boss would stare/leer at my nametag (on my chest) as if trying to figure out if I was a guy or a girl. I quit that job, but had to keep the look to get the respect I wanted in this stuffy city.
What it comes down to is if it's worth losing your job over this. You can ask them what you can do that's closer to your identity than the current one. I don't see any issues with pushing for the blonde dreads if you'd be more comfortable with that. (Plus you look beautiful in that picture!)
I don't really use appearance to tip. If the service is fine, then they get my usual tip amount. If it's bad, then it goes down. If it's exceptional, it goes up. But I rarely move it from the basic % that I usually do. That said, up here in government town I cannot remember the last time I had a server that wasn't a proper drone.
I do understand where you're coming from - it's extremely frustrating to have to conform to the mold. I had to go from pink hair to my natural colour (with some coloured extensions tucked behind my ears) and even had to grow it out as the big boss would stare/leer at my nametag (on my chest) as if trying to figure out if I was a guy or a girl. I quit that job, but had to keep the look to get the respect I wanted in this stuffy city.
What it comes down to is if it's worth losing your job over this. You can ask them what you can do that's closer to your identity than the current one. I don't see any issues with pushing for the blonde dreads if you'd be more comfortable with that. (Plus you look beautiful in that picture!)
Thanks you guys :] I've just always found dreads more suiting to my lifestyle and to the shape of my face. Sure they're kind of high maintenance... But eh.
Just a quick update on things. I went and bought a long-sleeved white button up shirt to replace the short sleeved one, so that my tattoos would be covered. Our District Manager was in, and approved. He told me for once he had no issues with my appearance.
But since the General Manager has yet to follow through with my full-time service trainer position, nor follow through with the set schedule I was promised, I once again went to the location down the street from my house.
Just a few weeks ago, a letter went out with all of the updates/changes to the dress code. At the time, it still said that as long as your gauges are smaller than a quarter, they are not an issue. When I went to speak with the managers at the location down the street, he wouldn't even talk to me. It was the same one from before, when the transfer had been finalized, and then I didn't show up for three shifts because my manager told me he was going to call them and tell them he was keeping me, and then never did. Instead, the manager had one of the other servers tell me that my gauges were too big, and they could not hire me. She didn't seem interested at all in my offers to remove them for work, or style my hair so that my ears would not be visible.
So I went up the highway to another location, this one about 15 miles from my house versus the 40 mile location I currently work at. The manager there was more than happy to speak to me, told me that as far as he was aware, policy concerning gauges had not changed, and that as long as I kept my ears and tattoos covered, he would be more than happy to accept me. He said he was going to call my store in the next day or so.
I'm hoping things fall into place, but should they not...
Well then damnit, I'll put my dreads in, put my normal attire on, and go apply at Hot Topic X3 I've tried most of the tattoo shops/alternative clothing stores around here, but since most of them are individually owned, unless you know someone already working there, or are a licensed tattoo artist, it's nearly impossible to get in.
I just need to get into college, make it through college, and obtain my mortuary science degree, and then take out a small business loan and open my own funeral home. Hire other people to work the front of the business, and stay in back all day. Dead people don't care what you look like X3
Just a quick update on things. I went and bought a long-sleeved white button up shirt to replace the short sleeved one, so that my tattoos would be covered. Our District Manager was in, and approved. He told me for once he had no issues with my appearance.
But since the General Manager has yet to follow through with my full-time service trainer position, nor follow through with the set schedule I was promised, I once again went to the location down the street from my house.
Just a few weeks ago, a letter went out with all of the updates/changes to the dress code. At the time, it still said that as long as your gauges are smaller than a quarter, they are not an issue. When I went to speak with the managers at the location down the street, he wouldn't even talk to me. It was the same one from before, when the transfer had been finalized, and then I didn't show up for three shifts because my manager told me he was going to call them and tell them he was keeping me, and then never did. Instead, the manager had one of the other servers tell me that my gauges were too big, and they could not hire me. She didn't seem interested at all in my offers to remove them for work, or style my hair so that my ears would not be visible.
So I went up the highway to another location, this one about 15 miles from my house versus the 40 mile location I currently work at. The manager there was more than happy to speak to me, told me that as far as he was aware, policy concerning gauges had not changed, and that as long as I kept my ears and tattoos covered, he would be more than happy to accept me. He said he was going to call my store in the next day or so.
I'm hoping things fall into place, but should they not...
Well then damnit, I'll put my dreads in, put my normal attire on, and go apply at Hot Topic X3 I've tried most of the tattoo shops/alternative clothing stores around here, but since most of them are individually owned, unless you know someone already working there, or are a licensed tattoo artist, it's nearly impossible to get in.
I just need to get into college, make it through college, and obtain my mortuary science degree, and then take out a small business loan and open my own funeral home. Hire other people to work the front of the business, and stay in back all day. Dead people don't care what you look like X3
HAHAHAH that would be the coolest funeral home ever. Seriously, catering to cool dead people would rule. I mean, they make custom caskets with stuff printed on them, so...
I hope things go well. That one manager seems to be a dick - I doubt you'd want to be working for them anyway!
I hope things go well. That one manager seems to be a dick - I doubt you'd want to be working for them anyway!
Author of Repurposed
kshau-protectorate.com
kshau-protectorate.com
Haha I've been telling my mom since I was about 8 or 9 that I wanted to be a mortician. I always figured it would be the perfect job for me, as long as I wasn't interacting with 'customers'. I could look however I want, make up nifty stories about the dead people's lives, and have them talk to me in outlandish accents [I do infact, believe most of my pets/inanimate objects have accents, and they speak to me in my head as such] So it seemed it would work out all around lol
pffffff hahahaha.
It's kind of ironically funny that you'd bring it up, among other things, because 1 - you're a beautiful blond, 2 - you wear outrageous stuff, 3 - you're rather a lot like the NCIS forensics girl Abby. lol and I just used a picture of her altered a bit to add to my World of Zekira skills section to describe the forensics profession Because you want to be JUST LIKE HER the pic says
It's kind of ironically funny that you'd bring it up, among other things, because 1 - you're a beautiful blond, 2 - you wear outrageous stuff, 3 - you're rather a lot like the NCIS forensics girl Abby. lol and I just used a picture of her altered a bit to add to my World of Zekira skills section to describe the forensics profession Because you want to be JUST LIKE HER the pic says
Author of Repurposed
kshau-protectorate.com
kshau-protectorate.com
I really like the show myself, even though it still suffers from the "we can do anything with our technology" flaws, the characters and acting, as well as dialog and such, are all pretty top notch. I won't watch CSI shows, but this one is just different enough. (I won't watch CSI whatever because they lifted, almost verbatim, a script from Homicide Life on the Streets which was my favorite cop show of all time, and I was so disgusted I just gave up on it.)
Abby's the awesome goth grrl forensics person.
Abby's the awesome goth grrl forensics person.
Author of Repurposed
kshau-protectorate.com
kshau-protectorate.com