Sketch-Critiques please!

Xalia · Post by **Xalia** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:40 pm

Okay, so I've been pondering ideas for my Kilandaian River dragon for a while now and this is what I came up with today...I like it...but it seems like there's something missing...and I think the head and neck may be a little small...

Opinions/critiques/comments would be much appreciated!

Shard · Post by **Shard** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:37 pm

Yeah, the neck and head seem a little smaller in proportion than the body. The tail area also, is quite long and thick for a while - maybe begin tapering the tail after the hind fin. Looks really nice though! Oh - the hind fin.... Maybe could be a little more like the forelimbs - they seem to be draconic/fishie, while the hind fin looks more dolphin like.

Post by **Dray** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:46 pm

Oooh, nifty design! ^_^ I'd suggest moving the hind fins back a little, or shortening/narrowing the tail-area... maybe adding a further set of fins to the tail to make it seem less overly-large? It looks like it's supposed to be fully aquatic to me--if it's amphibious, please correct me! If the former's the case, how about adding some webbing from its pinkie fingers to its body? The front limbs seem kind of awkward on the otherwise aquatic body. ^^; I think Shard's covered the rest of it. Maybe a larger head, or a shorter neck or someut? :3

Xalia · Post by **Xalia** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:56 pm

Like a dolphin or a whale they can pull themselves out of the water (that's where those long arms come in handy...they don't ever beach themselves!)...they breathe air...in fact I've been debating giving them a blow hole somewhere so they don't risk drowning when they're hunting for fish and the like...but again like dolphins and whales their skin must stay wet or they'll dry up and die...the fins and tail are especially sensitive as the rest of their body is covered in a fine coating of hair that helps trap moisture. So yeah, mostly aquatic but they can come out of the water for limited periods of time...

I think I'll make the head a little bigger and the neck a little thicker...and I intended to put another set of fins in on the tail to balance it out a bit more but completely forgot! Thanks for reminding me...now just to decide /where/ to put them...

Thanks for the comments so far!

Question...would the 'leg' fins look better if they were more sea lion-like or do the dolphin ones work? It suddenly occurred to me that they may need to be bigger if they're going to help the dragon swim...big as he is and all...might look better too as per Shard's suggestion?

Post by **Dray** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:13 pm

XD Yes, more moveable-hind fins (unless they're meant to be stabilizers!) Right now they look kind of stiff/useless.

Xalia · Post by **Xalia** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:44 pm

Okay, updated version...comments/critique on this one?

Shard · Post by **Shard** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:47 pm

Woooo! That's very cool! It's so much more dynamic!

Kless · Post by **Kless** » Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:59 pm

I love the pose itself but (sorry if this sounds too critcal), eveything looks a little mismatched. You have land-like forearms, seal-like back fins, and then a dolphin tail & fins. It looks odd to me, though you might have wanted that look *shrugs*. To fix that (if you want to) I'd chose one animal to base everything off. For example, if you choose the landlike limbs, you could make hind legs with webbed feet and then the tail that ight end like an alligator's, wth a membrane over it. If you went with seal-like, you could change the forelegs into fins like the back legs and then make the tail just end.

Or you could tie everything in the current picture together. In the back fins, make the little ridges fingers so it looks like the front legs only broader and stretched out.

Xalia · Post by **Xalia** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 3:41 pm

Okay, I finished my river dragon!

Comments?

LakotaWolf · Post by **LakotaWolf** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:02 pm

I have to say, I love the design, but the coloring looks a bit odd on the hands/head/fin area, where it's that shinier, gel-looking blue. Those parts look really disconnected from the rest of the dragon, like they got glued on after the dragon was born :x Maybe you could try smudging/blending those areas a bit? :D

angeoria · Post by **angeoria** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:03 pm

I'm going to have to agree with Kless about the mis-matched look... but eh, it's colored, I imagine you don't want to change that much now. I do like the coloring, although that looks... a bit uneven, too. It seems like not only the texture but also the light sources on the limbs are different from that of the body... is that intentional? The transition between the two is very sharp... I don't know, you might want to even it out a bit.

A very cool dragon, though, despite my critiquey-ness, and I imagine I'll try for one if you adopt them out. ^^

Xalia · Post by **Xalia** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:30 pm

You know, I thought long and hard about what Kless had to say about the 'mismatched' look, but since when does the Nexus conform to what 'looks right' for Earth? If we went by Earth standards all our dragons would be blood-thirsty winged reptiles that eat maidens and kill knights!

Granted, sea life on this planet has evolved to have smooth fins or hand-like flippers, but does that mean on Kilandaia they had to do the same? Dragons on Kilandaia originated on land and one species eventually evolved to like the sea better. The hind legs were converted for ease of motion in the water and the arms were retained for ease of leaving the water and getting back in it in times of need.

As for the sharp look, thank you for pointing that out! I intended to blur that in order to get an easier look. The arms, fins, nose, tail, etc that are in a different color are actually what their skin looks like. The light source is the same, hence the bright highlight where the light is coming from, but their skin is actually very gelatinous to the touch and takes in light that way. If not for their own natural magics you'd probably see their skeleton under that skin! The rest of them is covered in fur, and I forgot to shade/blend the transitions properly so I'm going back to do that now!

Skysong · Post by **Skysong** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:32 pm

The first thing I thought when I saw the coloring was that the hands and beak and other parts color like that were made of glass. An interesting effect, but I'm not sure if you were going for that or not ^_^;

I like, though! Maybe even adopt one some day.. oooh.. >_>

Xalia · Post by **Xalia** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 4:38 pm

Okay, the new, more blurred version is up...updated the post above!

Better?

angeoria · Post by **angeoria** » Wed Aug 17, 2005 5:13 pm

It's definitely much better... The fins and the hind "legs" look quite good, in terms of smooth transition, and the head is wonderful; the transition on the forelegs and the tail, however, still looks a bit abrupt. I think the thing that's bothering me is that you said their bodies are furred, and if you look at a real animal (well, Earth-type, at least) their fur does not end in neat, even bands in the areas where they have bare skin. If you look at a dog's stomach, for example, there is an area of thin fur between the bare skin and the normal coat... and I think it might look more natural if you could do something of the sort on your dragon. You might try streaking or smudging the areas of the fur texture out over the bare skin, perhaps at a slightly lower transparency, rather than simply blurring the division.

Just my thoughts, though, and as you said, there's no real reason for alien species to follow the same physiological rules as Earth natives except that it makes them look more believable to us. ^^

Post by **Dray** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 8:03 pm

XD It looks like it's underwater, sweet!

Now add a sea-like background? Eh? Ehhh? ;p

Xalia · Post by **Xalia** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:03 pm

I got inspired so as requested, with a background, can be found on my DA account here: http://www.deviantart.com/view/21915748

Mystic Dragon · Post by **Mystic Dragon** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:13 pm

That's a very nice colouring job. Some of the shading outside the black lines still shows, but the way you made the blue look glossy is a really neat effect.

Xalia · Post by **Xalia** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:15 pm

I noticed that last night...it's actually the fur color that went outside the lines and I didn't realize it! I've fixed it on the file on my computer now though...just didn't upload the new image...