Still Alive

Post by **StarFyre** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:48 am

Well, since my computer saw fit to go ballistic about 7 hours ago when I was trying to post, lets try this again.

I do actually still exist, am alive, and have most of the hatching done. There's some things I need to touch up, but that will have to wait until I feel like a real person again.

I know some of you might remember my rant about how the beginning of this semester killed me -- well, the end of the semester came back to kill me just as hard, if not harder. To be truthful, on the 10th of December I reached the end of the rope and nearly had a panic attack in the middle of one of my finals... triggered BY the final I was trying to take. And I would probably still be on the edge of a breakdown if it wasn't for random chance making me flip through my wallet and finding the business card of one of the Native Americans in the area, and sheer "well, I have nothing to lose at this point" that made me call him and talk with him.

So I'm getting back to meeting with the Native American tribe in this area. I may not have any Cherokee blood in me, or even enough Native American to notice (I maybe, maybe have a drop or two of Algonquin in me), but they did adopt me into their group, and I really like and respect all of them. So...

This 'break' of mine from the Nexus wasn't intentional in the slightest, but happened because I started to feel everything slip away from me, and was trying desperately to keep it together. I ended up dropping so many things and projects... Until about a week ago, I hadn't touched art or writing in over a month, or anything creative. Heck, at one point in that stretch, I couldn't even daydream or remember any of my dreams at night, and those are usually where I get inspiration from.

I think I'm back. At least for break. I'll finish the hatching up when I have a chance here, hopefully before Christmas (I'm currently down with a cold, so my sleep/wake schedule is messed up, and there's no telling when I'll drop off. Case in point, I went to sleep at about 1:30 and alternately slept and woke until around 7:30, when I couldn't get back to sleep again. I think in about an hour I'll be back in bed.)

So.. sorry for vanishing like that. I hope the hatching will be worth the wait.

Post by **Dray** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:24 am

*hugs* Welcome back. :) I'm glad that you have folks to go to on occasions like this!

Shard · Post by **Shard** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:37 pm

Whew.... Wow, well, hang in there, and if you need to rant or whatnot, we're here too.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 4:53 pm

I hope real life sorts itself out for you. Good thing it's break time for schools. <3 *HUG* Take care of you, you!

Post by **StarFyre** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:05 pm

Thanks guys. I'm trying to relax and take it easy. It's nice not having responsibilities for once, and nothing on my mind except "what do I want to do right now? draw? read? write? laze about and play video games/listen to music/daydream?"

On Tuesday I removed the last of my stressors, being the job I was trying to hold down. And I feel... much, much better because of that. It was so nice to go up to my boss and say, "look, I have a legitimate worry that I can't help you next semester based on how this semester went. You'll be better served with someone else." Which is the truth, but not the whole truth. But that's how the real world operates, I suppose. At least I didn't have to lie to his face.